How ‘gray rocking’ can protect you against narcissists

CNN — If you have that person in your life who drags you into their unending drama, games or conflicts, there may be an answer. Become a “gray rock.” Gray rocking is a strategy to deal with narcissists — those who depend on feeling important or special — and it essentially involves responding to them in bland, boring ways until they lose interest, said Dr. W. Keith Campbell, professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. “There is no real research on this, but I’ve talked to a lot of women in these relationships, and I’ve heard from people I really trust that this is something effective,” Campbell said. “And it makes theoretical sense.” Narcissism is complicated, but this technique is simple, said Dr. Craig Malkin, a lecturer in psychology for Harvard Medical School and a licensed psychologist based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. “They want you to understand that you’ve never met anyone more caring or committed to causes than they are.” How narcissism can hurt you It’s hard to say what exactly makes someone become a narcissist, but generally, narcissistic people tend to have a weak sense of self and use their ego to prop them up and supply them with attention and admiration, said Deborah Ashway, a licensed clinical mental health counselor based in New Bern, North Carolina.