Radical Honesty 'Scares The Hell Out Of People,' But It Could Be Worth Trying

adamkaz via Getty Images A year ago, Allie Stark, a life coach from San Francisco, struggled over how to handle a crush she’d developed. Stark’s decision to tell all was partially inspired by radical honesty, a philosophy and book written by Brad Blanton, a psychotherapist who likes to refers to himself as “white trash with a Ph.D.” At its core, Blanton’s idea is a very simple one: When you’re radically honest with someone, you tell them what you feel, what you’ve done or plan to do and what you really think. “Adults are not all-in-all that good at loving them back and mold their kids into being good civil liars through careful schooling and judgmental oppression.” Suppressing what you really want from your partner silently kills the relationship, said Taber Shadburne, a counselor and trainer of radical honesty. “Radical honesty is a way of repeatedly reintroducing the mystery and excitement, the edgy and unknown, the learning and growth, the love and intimacy back into your relationship,” he said. “But being willing to feel your way through pain together is the cost of admission to real love and intimacy.” And sometimes radical honesty shows you that you and your partner are better off apart, like it did for Allie Stark.