I demanded a divorce out of the blue. But five years later I'm still in love with my husband - and wish we could get back together

Walking into the living room, cake blazing, my daughters and I burst into a ­chorus of Happy Birthday, while I carefully tiptoe towards the delighted birthday boy in question. Lawrence wasn't unfaithful, he didn't treat me cruelly, he is a fantastic father and he didn't have any weird predilections either I bitterly regret acting in such haste, not just because I now see that it was a stupid, impulsive thing to do, but because I still love my ex-husband. Living in the Midlands meant we could afford a family summer holiday every year, we'd have film nights at home and the odd date night out as a couple, too. One Christmas, after a rather thoughtful present arrived for me from her father, I did ask her whether she thought we could ever get back together and it was a big fat 'no'. But while Tom ticks every box – he makes me laugh, is a good cook, perfectly adequate in bed and is great with my children – he just isn't Lawrence.