I Am an Independent, Impartial Scorpion

I was deeply honored to stand on the river bank July 9 with my scorpion wife to explain to you our plan to travel by frog to the other side of the river. As I have said repeatedly, if one of you gives me a ride to the other side of the river, I would be part of a team of two, committed to making it to solid ground before anyone—frog or scorpion alike—gets stung or gets paralyzed or gets drowned or gets a valuable but fatal lesson about scorpions and frogs. At times, my decisions—both in who to sting and when to sting them—reflected my overwhelming frustration at being wrongly accused, without corroboration, of horrible scorpion conduct completely contrary to my scorpion record and scorpion character. Going forward, you can count on me to be the same kind of scorpion I have been for my entire 28-year scorpion career: hardworking, even-keeled, open-minded, independent, and dedicated to stinging everything I can, except when crossing this river, because that would not be in my own best interests.