L.A. Affairs: He ghosted me on text and Instagram. Should I give him another chance?
6 months, 3 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: He ghosted me on text and Instagram. Should I give him another chance?

LA Times  

At 5:11 p.m. on a Friday, my phone buzzed with a message from Matt. I’ll check my schedule and confirm tomorrow.” He never did although his profile picture — Modigliani’s portrait of Jean Cocteau — consistently lingered under my Instagram Stories views. We started texting back and forth every day again, him professing that he had been directing his time and energy toward “love and becoming” and noting that he felt unable to dialogue deeply with others until “the energy paradigm has been met, ideally down to the quantum level.” Eventually, I asked him to call, and he agreed enthusiastically, stating that he admired me and chuckling that this had been “a long time coming.” And in a story as old as time, he promised me that he would confirm and then he promptly proceeded to ghost me again. As I told him in my final iMessage, effectively ending our on-and-off connection that had never culminated in a meetup, “I’m a person behind the screen, not a philosophy book, not an intellectual fantasy.” A man acting like the protagonist in a Cigarettes After Sex song, I told myself while deleting his contact information, isn’t going to be the great love of your life. She’s on Instagram: @julialouisemorrow L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story.

Instagram Matt  text  screen  matt  told  relationship  la  morning  wasnt  long  love  chance  instagram  affairs  ghosted

History of this topic

L.A. Affairs: My ex took my confidence away. Male strippers brought it back
1 month, 2 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: My ex took my confidence away. Male strippers brought it back

LA Times  

A debilitating divorce that netted me half a condo and little self-esteem had landed me here: standing in line waiting for the doors to open to L.A.’s Hollywood Men, the kind of neon-sign male strip club made famous in the “Magic Mike” movies. Most were wearing something short, black and slinky, while Debbie and I were dressed in business casual …

L.A. Affairs: I’ve missed L.A. The wildfires caused me to revisit the love I lost
2 months, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: I’ve missed L.A. The wildfires caused me to revisit the love I lost

LA Times  

We used to drive up the coast on a motorcycle. It’s quiet again.” Eric and I didn’t even make it to three years, but we decided to take a trip to Hawaii to have a memorable longer separation before we parted for good. I was so relieved when the woman on the phone said, “We’re still cleaning up today but …

L.A. Affairs: After my wife of 32 years died, I was lost. Could I ever love again?
2 months, 3 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: After my wife of 32 years died, I was lost. Could I ever love again?

LA Times  

It was my senior year at Van Nuys High. Poolside, I ended up staring into the dark brown eyes of my future wife accompanied by her bleach-blond friend, while my friends tried their best to act cool next to the girl they had lusted after for much of the past school semester. The girl with dark brown eyes and I …

L.A. Affairs: As a divorced mom, I was conflicted about dating. Until I met him
3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: As a divorced mom, I was conflicted about dating. Until I met him

LA Times  

I was three years post-divorce, with a 12-year-old son and a newly adopted puppy, living in Park La Brea, where a community of single moms had come together. She reminded me of my dating plan by saying, “It’s just one date.” Expecting the worst, I was surprised instead to meet a successful entrepreneur and triathlete with sexy curly hair, an …

L.A. Affairs: He was a rock star. I was just nice. Would our casual romance last?
3 months, 2 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: He was a rock star. I was just nice. Would our casual romance last?

LA Times  

We met at a boba shop on Santa Monica Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue perfectly situated between our apartments in the lively heart of West Hollywood. I wore light-wash jeans with rips at the knees and a purple North Face long-sleeve that read “Save the Polar Bears.” My beige jacket was fluffy and felt excessive for an L.A. winter. “I just …

L.A. Affairs: I met a stranger at the airport. And yes, I was having feelings for him
6 months, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: I met a stranger at the airport. And yes, I was having feelings for him

LA Times  

My brother dropped me off curbside at Los Angeles International Airport and yelled, “Run!” Our timing getting to LAX was thwarted by the kind of notorious L.A. traffic that airline change fees and crushed dreams are made of. Without missing a beat, she shot back: “Good, because you’re very handsome.” We said goodbye in a flurry. Flying over Tulsa, Okla. …

L.A. Affairs: I went to the ER after a fall. But I might have left with a boyfriend
7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I went to the ER after a fall. But I might have left with a boyfriend

LA Times  

I am an 81-year-old widow with shaky balance. “When was the last time you had a drink?” “Last night I went out with my buddies and had a few beers.” So, he’s single! The last thing I said to her was, “Why should I?” “Because you never know.” “Not doing it,” I said loudly, hoping the subject would finally be …

L.A. Affairs: At 77, I had a crush on my best friend’s widower. Did he feel the same way?
8 months, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: At 77, I had a crush on my best friend’s widower. Did he feel the same way?

LA Times  

At 77, I had given up. After two failed marriages and years of unsuccessful dating, I accepted what seemed to be my fate: single for almost 40 years and single for however many remained. After she died, Ty and I stayed in touch sporadically: a surprise sharing of his second granddaughter a year after we scattered my friend’s ashes, an …

L.A. Affairs: I discovered my dad’s secret children. It changed us forever
9 months, 2 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: I discovered my dad’s secret children. It changed us forever

LA Times  

We all have a past — little ghosts of heartache and regret that can haunt us forever. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs submission guidelines L.A. Affairs is a first-person column in the Los Angeles Times chronicling romance and relationships. As I became an adult and started to make my own mistakes — as I started to understand the weight a person’s decisions …

L.A. Affairs: For years, we were Matt & Ted. Except I wasn’t Ted. I was Amie
9 months, 3 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: For years, we were Matt & Ted. Except I wasn’t Ted. I was Amie

LA Times  

We met online in 2004 before Hinge, Bumble or even the iPhone existed. We threw strange parties: a garden party with a “make your own hat” bar, a dinner party full of spontaneous performance art and a birthday party called Lord Pontchartrain’s Cosmic Saturnalia. For years, we’d had a mostly unspoken bargain: I would live my trans life after he …

L.A. Affairs submission guidelines
10 months ago

L.A. Affairs submission guidelines

LA Times  

L.A. Affairs is a first-person column in the L.A. Times chronicling romance and relationships. We like stories to have a strong sense of place and to feel rooted in Southern California. Everything in each piece including names must be factually correct. Please be patient: We receive dozens and dozens of submissions for L.A. Affairs each week and are not always …

L.A. Affairs: I found love in a truly hopeless place. Yes, the office
10 months, 3 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: I found love in a truly hopeless place. Yes, the office

LA Times  

Heartbroken after a breakup that was long overdue, crushed by a stalled entertainment industry and depressed by my temporary day job at a dementia center, I grasped at any semblance of stability. Months of hopeful waiting ended with a curt dismissal: “We’ve decided to move forward with another candidate.” I was bitter, and my mind was overflowing with imagined shortcomings …

L.A. Affairs: I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum. What he did next was shocking
1 year, 1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum. What he did next was shocking

LA Times  

When I opened the door of my apartment, something felt off. I walked into each room to assess what he’d done, each discovery a spear through my gut: the hangers dangling on the closet rod like a smile of broken teeth. It was the conclusion of a fiery, unhealthy pairing dominated by a passionate relationship’s hallmarks: mind-blowing sex, furious arguments, …

L.A. Affairs: I ran into three of my exes. Was the universe trying to tell me something?
1 year, 1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: I ran into three of my exes. Was the universe trying to tell me something?

LA Times  

I’d venture to guess that if we were to survey under-40 Angelenos on their religious beliefs, astrology probably would come out on top. Yet within a year, the relationship had imploded, and our last date featured me crying to Bradley Cooper’s suicide in “A Star Is Born” while Harrison shot me pathetic glances, preparing for our scheduled breakup that Sunday. …

L.A. Affairs: I met my dream man. The only problem? He wasn’t my husband
1 year, 2 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I met my dream man. The only problem? He wasn’t my husband

LA Times  

I had been married for six weeks the night I met Anthony. Outside on the tiny patio, Anthony scooted in next to me with the bottles of Two-Buck Chuck we’d brought with us. My husband and I signed divorce papers nine months after we had said, “I do.” That summer Anthony called to say he’d been diagnosed with colon cancer. …

L.A. Affairs: I said, ‘I love you.’ She quickly replied, ‘As a friend, right?’
1 year, 2 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I said, ‘I love you.’ She quickly replied, ‘As a friend, right?’

LA Times  

My eyes scanned the crowd in the arrivals area of Terminal 5 at Los Angeles International Airport. Two years prior, on Jan. 17, 1994, the Northridge earthquake shook her parents’ Porter Ranch home violently, waking her and her family from their slumber. After a year of our digital friendship, I sat 3,000 miles away in my bedroom, but one night, …

L.A. Affairs: I was absolutely attracted to him. Then he body-shamed me
1 year, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I was absolutely attracted to him. Then he body-shamed me

LA Times  

The night I met Buff Ben, I was coming from a Hinge date. “No, I hated it!” Ben smiled ruefully as he recounted his loneliness there: the time he had crushed openly on a fellow actor in a play before turning bitter when his advances were spurned. “I only date fit guys,” he said, as though this were so obvious …

L.A. Affairs: My mentor quietly quit me. Was the problem with my new guy or me?
1 year, 4 months ago

L.A. Affairs: My mentor quietly quit me. Was the problem with my new guy or me?

LA Times  

“I love your work. I felt I was writing one of the artist’s characters in real time. “A miracle!” the artist said, picking me up from LAX. “I even have someone to set you up with,” she said, showing me a photo of a tall man at one of her events. I can’t right now,” she said, describing mourning over …

L.A. Affairs: He kept texting her while dating me. We teamed up for revenge
1 year, 4 months ago

L.A. Affairs: He kept texting her while dating me. We teamed up for revenge

LA Times  

I had recently finished grad school and was ready to dive into the dating scene, so I downloaded Bumble, the dating app where women make the first move. He seemed to love filming himself talking to strangers, and he’d proudly stand in public places with a big cardboard sign proclaiming “Free Hugs!” In the mix, I noticed that a pretty …

L.A. Affairs: He lied to me over and over. I went back to him anyway
1 year, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: He lied to me over and over. I went back to him anyway

LA Times  

We met for drinks in downtown Los Angeles. “Take all the time you need, Mell, but I know, without a doubt, that I love you.” So commenced our initial two-year romance. “Because he thinks I’m a gigolo.” Cue screeching brakes. Didn’t you say you were a writer, a voice-over actor, a comedian, a hotel bellman?” My intuition had been telling …

L.A. Affairs: I was focused on work. I didn’t realize he was flirting with me
1 year, 8 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I was focused on work. I didn’t realize he was flirting with me

LA Times  

When you’ve been in the bookstore business long enough, there are times when you start to think everybody’s got an angle. Maybe it’s just an L.A. thing, but it seemed that every time I stopped at a stoplight those days, some enterprising do-gooder would lean over from the next car with a crumpled card reading “We Fix Dents.” I didn’t …

L.A. Affairs: I was too happy and in love to notice the red flags
2 years ago

L.A. Affairs: I was too happy and in love to notice the red flags

LA Times  

I landed in Los Angeles with my 10- and 12-year-old daughters in December 2013. We met during a last-minute visit to go see Simon, my old friend and first agent, who lived near Montana Avenue in Santa Monica. We would host dinners together in Adriano’s condo in Santa Monica and we’d also take the girls to the California Science Center, …

L.A. Affairs: I fell hard and proposed on New Year’s Day. She had other plans
2 years, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I fell hard and proposed on New Year’s Day. She had other plans

LA Times  

Maybe two weeks into the relationship, Emily said to me, “You know this is just an affair, right? “They’ve got the best baguettes in town,” I said as I moved past her in the dusk, thinking that would be that. She invited me over for a movie night, and we had chosen, of all things, to watch “The Dead,” the …

L.A. Affairs: What do you do when the potential love of your life moves away?
2 years, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: What do you do when the potential love of your life moves away?

LA Times  

It ended as fast as it began. I hinted at this new man’s existence, as Dad is way too concerned about my love life. After a few minutes of thought, Dad said, “You know, I still haven’t seen the 6th Street bridge.” I’m always in for a downtown adventure, so I put on the oldies playlist I made for him …

L.A. Affairs: There was a big problem in our relationship. He lived in Nashville
2 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: There was a big problem in our relationship. He lived in Nashville

LA Times  

Chad’s profile picture on Tinder was a black-and-white photo of him singing into a mic with a fedora on his head. A line read, “All those wasted years I thought were overdue / were leading me to you.” That Christmas, Chad drove me to his family’s home in Delaware. He held my hand and said, “It would be cool if …

L.A. Affairs: I wanted romance. He made me feel weird about sex. Here’s what happened
2 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I wanted romance. He made me feel weird about sex. Here’s what happened

LA Times  

When I moved to L.A. to change my life, Jon Hamm was on my mind. I started out as a woman who didn’t know what it meant when someone asked, “Are you in the industry?” “What industry?” I’d reply. We had a phone call, and not only did he ask me about the classes that I’d taught back in Ithaca …

L.A. Affairs: My ex tried to play matchmaker for me. What could possibly go wrong?
2 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: My ex tried to play matchmaker for me. What could possibly go wrong?

LA Times  

It’s the end of August, but Costco already has Christmas decorations and 20-pound bags of individually wrapped candy canes for sale. “There’s the one who smells like dog food and the one who calls me whore. He used to call anyone who was into that a “macropsychotic.” After all these years, we are still good friends, and it boggles his …

L.A. Affairs: What if my final words to my husband were ‘Call me?’
2 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: What if my final words to my husband were ‘Call me?’

LA Times  

The first time I dropped off my husband at the UCLA emergency room in the spring of 2020, I wasn’t seriously concerned. Although he looked worried and said, “I think I’m having a heart attack,” I waved it off as a panic attack. I felt terrible guilt as I was the one who unknowingly brought the pandemic into our home, …

L.A. Affairs: I signed up for online dating. Are L.A. men really this extra?
2 years, 8 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I signed up for online dating. Are L.A. men really this extra?

LA Times  

After a difficult breakup and many months of reflection, I decided it was time to join the online dating scene. I was clear that I wanted a relationship that would offer great communication, trust, affection and love and involve someone who would become my best friend. Within a day, I received my first message, which posed the question: “Do you …

L.A. Affairs: My boyfriend was planning to visit me. Then I discovered his big secret
2 years, 9 months ago

L.A. Affairs: My boyfriend was planning to visit me. Then I discovered his big secret

LA Times  

When my grandmother died five years ago, my mom asked my oldest brother, Marc, to invite his friend to the wake. She had also made it a couple months before when she mailed my maltipoo, Benedict, a turquoise handkerchief with a message in white font: “My mom is single.” She knew my status. Once, when I knew he was about …

L.A. Affairs: After a few failed relationships, was this one for real?
2 years, 9 months ago

L.A. Affairs: After a few failed relationships, was this one for real?

LA Times  

Dear Alvaro, I met you two weeks after my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer in the summer of 2021. While at the Monterey Park Hospital, knowing more about my dad’s prognosis and trying my best to hide my tears, I found solace in the dating apps. Nevertheless, I enjoyed all our outings: those hours we spent exploring …

L.A. Affairs: It felt like a date — but was it?
2 years, 11 months ago

L.A. Affairs: It felt like a date — but was it?

LA Times  

I was 54 years old, divorced for 12 years and happily alone. My response to my friends’ suggestions was: I wanted that special someone to come to my door — to appear magically! Then come the walks on your break — maybe to Little Tokyo or Grand Central Market — arms slightly touching, and there’s coffee at the corner of …

L.A. Affairs: My dating sidekick is a baby. It’s a problem
3 years ago

L.A. Affairs: My dating sidekick is a baby. It’s a problem

LA Times  

Erica and I are waiting for coffees in front of All Time’s sidewalk service counter, Jack in his stroller between us. I would like her to know that I am Jack’s father’s friend, who was figuring things out when the COVID-19 pandemic arrived and now lives in the guest house while he finishes grad school. When I asked her if …

L.A. Affairs: How I got a second chance at love
3 years ago

L.A. Affairs: How I got a second chance at love

LA Times  

In the year after my husband’s death from a massive heart attack, I functioned, but only barely. “I didn’t have that problem,” he said, “When I divorced, my wife got the house and I got the books.” Ah, I thought. I was wearing one of my favorites, a chic Italian knit sheath, and he said to me, “That’s a very …

L.A. Affairs: He asked me out. In person. To my face!
3 years ago

L.A. Affairs: He asked me out. In person. To my face!

LA Times  

When I’m getting ready to do stand-up, I lay my bits on cards out on the table for review. Two days later, I went to where I always go on Sundays — the open mic night at the Improv, where I throw my name in a bucket and fight the urge to throw up until I’m called on. Lifestyle L.A. …

L.A. Affairs: Texting destroyed our relationship. Don’t let it come for yours
3 years ago

L.A. Affairs: Texting destroyed our relationship. Don’t let it come for yours

LA Times  

I’m normally a very even-keeled guy, and I can ride the ups and downs of life with aplomb. We were now days into this texting game, and this should surely be seen as a positive development; if she wasn’t interested, we would have already fizzled out. I’d had a few relationships in my life that had ended prematurely for a …

L.A. Affairs: All the things I wish I’d said to you
3 years, 4 months ago

L.A. Affairs: All the things I wish I’d said to you

LA Times  

It’s your last night in Los Angeles. You remind me your new boss is a long shot to win and say that maybe you’ll be back in L.A. before I know it. I tell you it supposedly takes two years to feel at home in Los Angeles and that you’ve only known me for a few months so you can’t …

L.A. Affairs: On our third date, I dropped a potential deal-breaker. I’m bipolar
3 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: On our third date, I dropped a potential deal-breaker. I’m bipolar

LA Times  

By the time I turned 49, I hadn’t dated in 10 years. Santa Barbara has its benefits, like the ocean and mountains, but I’ve found that the pickings are slim in this dating pond. I’m a visual person, so when I saw Brian’s photos, I was stopped in my tracks — but not in a Cinderella meets her prince courtesy …

L.A. Affairs: This is why I stood him up on our very first date
3 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: This is why I stood him up on our very first date

LA Times  

The bartender came over to take my order after I had been waiting and waiting for my date. His response: “No.” Lifestyle Here are 10 of the best L.A. Affairs columns of all time We collected some of our favorite L.A. Affairs columns — which run weekly in the Los Angeles Times, and chronicle the ups and downs of dating …

L.A. Affairs: The secret to ending my lonely nights? I’ve started dating couples
3 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: The secret to ending my lonely nights? I’ve started dating couples

LA Times  

I’m not normally the kind of guy who brags, but for the record, I have now aced this whole dating business. I’ve done this any number of times — with my publishing mogul friends Paddy and Scott, theater impresarios Alan and Ronda, and my comedy writing pals Andy and Michele. They’re desperate for new company, for someone who hasn’t heard …

L.A. Affairs: What might have happened if we’d gotten that drink?
3 years, 8 months ago

L.A. Affairs: What might have happened if we’d gotten that drink?

LA Times  

I was visiting a friend in New Zealand in 2019 when I had an extra travel day. Whether you’re looking for ocean views or desert landscapes or soaring mountain peaks, Los Angeles offers miles upon miles of strikingly different trails. Lifestyle Here are 10 of the best L.A. Affairs columns of all time We collected some of our favorite L.A. …

L.A. Affairs: They’re young and in love. And they each have a secret
3 years, 10 months ago

L.A. Affairs: They’re young and in love. And they each have a secret

LA Times  

We were both hiding a part of ourselves from the other. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs: 14 perfect stories for Valentine’s Day We’ve curated 14 of our favorite stories about love, culled from the archives of L.A. Affairs, the column dedicated to the ups and downs of the search for love in Southern California. Each time Leo would drive down to Los …

L.A. Affairs: The sheer exhaustion of dating as a single mom
3 years, 10 months ago

L.A. Affairs: The sheer exhaustion of dating as a single mom

LA Times  

We love each other but we can’t stay married because he is a person with alcoholicism who won’t acknowledge his problem. Yet over the next seven years I’ll share my bed with a series of highly unavailable people: a funny and handsome podcast producer who announces within the first moments of our meeting that he’ll never marry or live with …

L.A. Affairs: She told me the exact date she was going to shatter my heart
3 years, 11 months ago

L.A. Affairs: She told me the exact date she was going to shatter my heart

LA Times  

I realized there was still so much I wanted to share with her. Lifestyle Here are 10 of the best L.A. Affairs columns of all time We collected some of our favorite L.A. Affairs columns — which run weekly in the Los Angeles Times, and chronicle the ups and downs of dating in Los Angeles and the search for love …

L.A. Affairs: I finally figured out why my marriages kept failing
3 years, 11 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I finally figured out why my marriages kept failing

LA Times  

During my first marriage, I kept forgetting my anniversary. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs: 14 perfect stories for Valentine’s Day We’ve curated 14 of our favorite stories about love, culled from the archives of L.A. Affairs, the column dedicated to the ups and downs of the search for love in Southern California. But she walked straight up to me, interrupted my conversation …

L.A. Affairs: I’m proof you should never compromise when it comes to love
4 years ago

L.A. Affairs: I’m proof you should never compromise when it comes to love

LA Times  

Reentering the dating scene after being in a long-term relationship is scary. At the last minute, the ministry’s lead organizer couldn’t make it, so the rest of us volunteers agreed to get there early to greet everyone and ensure any new people felt welcome. Another volunteer remarked to me, “The new guy is so cute.” I thought to myself, “And …

L.A. Affairs: I survived a plane crash when I was 15. Now I know why
4 years, 1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: I survived a plane crash when I was 15. Now I know why

LA Times  

I finally had an answer to the question that had haunted me. “Why do you think you were the only survivor?” That’s a question I’ve heard many times over the years since I was in an airplane that crashed, killing everyone else aboard. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs: 14 perfect stories for Valentine’s Day We’ve curated 14 of our favorite stories about …

L.A. Affairs: He’s friends with all his exes. Except me
4 years, 1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: He’s friends with all his exes. Except me

LA Times  

I started seeing a therapist to tackle, head on, my trust issues. “So you like broken-winged birds, huh?” I asked, self-conscious that’s exactly what I was. A few weeks later, I introduced him to my 2-year-old son at Solange Knowles’ “Bridge-s” show at the Getty. I called my girlfriends, sure they would back me in my “I’m going to drop …

L.A. Affairs: I was all in. But was he all out?
4 years, 2 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I was all in. But was he all out?

LA Times  

We were on the same journey that all queer people are on, the journey of finding oneself and being found. It was called “You Knew Before I Did” and consisted of monologues based on friends and family, ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers and others who realized I was gay before I realized it for myself. Given our goodness — he met members of …

Discover Related