Help! My Grandma Thinks She’s Marrying Toby Keith.

Dear Prudence is online weekly to chat live with readers. My grandma thinks she’s marrying a country star: My grandmother told my family that she is talking to and going to marry the country singer Toby Keith, but that it has to be a secret because his manager doesn’t want it getting out for “bad publicity.” Multiple family members and I have tried to tell her that this is a scam—when she asked us all for $3,000 to send to Toby Keith—but she will not listen to us at all. I’m concerned he wouldn’t take our direction or constructive criticism well, and that he’d try to manage things not as we would like, but how he, as my “big brother,” thinks they should go. A: There’s not an actual question here, although I’ll take your submission of this information as at least an implied question of “Who’s right?” Part of your difficulty might stem from the wide possible definition of “problems” under discussion—that might mean anything from “we disagreed about Y last week” to “I seriously doubt my boyfriend’s character and think he’s the most annoying man I’ve ever met.” But as a general rule, acknowledging that one’s romantic relationship is not merely an endless bed of roses is not guaranteed to “turn” one’s friends against one’s partner—fights and quarrels are inevitable, not an indicator that one’s relationship is uniquely and irreparably flawed. I’m much more of your camp than your partner’s, and I think you should be honest with them about your disagreement: “I won’t reveal any personal details and I’m not interested in these conversations because I want to make you look bad to someone else, but I find discussing my relationship problems with my friends helps me get perspective and make better decisions.