Liz Jones's Diary: In which the ex ex drops a bombshell

‘I wanted to let you know,’ he said, ‘she’s much younger than me’ I got a call from the ex ex. He continued, ‘I wanted to let you know before you see anything in the press.’ ‘I think Melody Maker has closed down,’ I said meanly. But I wanted to let you know she’s younger than me.’ Me: ‘How much younger?’ ‘She’s 26.’ ‘But I have jackets older than that!’ I said. The fact he mansplains everything, even though he can’t start a lawnmower: ‘You will have to pay tax on that.’ ‘The dishwasher uses way more water than if I washed up.’ ‘You should never have bought diesel.’ He thinks the fact he’s grown his hair long during lockdown makes him look like Robert Powell playing Jesus, when in fact from behind people think he’s Mary Beard.