My Mother Has Made a Ridiculously Unreasonable Demand About Her Visits With My Toddler

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. When I suggested that my mother try some earplugs to reduce the impact of not only any loud noises Erin might make but also any ambient noise in general, she became angry and said she wouldn’t be back until I found a “realistic” solution. But of course you’re right that Erin is too young to take your mother’s hypersensitive hearing into account, and you can’t and don’t want to discourage all her typical toddler sounds. Given that Erin also has needs that are important, and has behaviors she can’t realistically control at her age, perhaps your mother could think of wearing earplugs or noise-canceling headphones as an accommodation she makes for her very young, occasionally noisy grandchild—one that is actually possible, unlike your keeping a toddler silent for the duration of her visit. And again, while I’m sympathetic to your mother’s situation, I don’t think it makes sense for her to take every noise personally or punish others for being unable to be silent at all times—there is simply no way for you to anticipate or prevent every noise that could possibly bother her.