'Murder On The Orient Express' Pulls Into The Reboot Station. All Aboard! Or Not.

Thirteen celebrated actors walk onto a soundstage near London. 20th Century Fox Excuse the blasphemy, Agatha Christie acolytes, but “Murder on the Orient Express,” published in 1934, is a dull addition to the mystery genre. It’s a curious thing, this particular “Orient Express.” Written by Michael Green, the movie begins with a sweeping adventure scene that introduces Poirot as an exacting dandy ready to retire his world-renowned sleuthing skills. He pleads for Poirot’s protection, which leads to the movie’s single most comprehensible moment: Branagh telling Depp, “I do not like your face.” Finally, something the audience can appreciate. Most attempts at banter ― between Rachett and Pfeiffer’s saucy “husband-hunting” actress character, for example ― feel culled from longer scenes that were butchered and rendered lifeless.