Help! My Co-Worker Always Has Sick Kids. I Suspect the Culprit Is in Her House.

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. The attitude you want to project is not “I hate to be the one to tell you, but your filthy house is the cause of your issues and I sort of think you’re a bad mother” but “You’ve shared details about your life with me, I care about you, and I had an idea that might help.” The next time she mentions her kids being sick, try something like: “I’m so sorry to hear that! You mentioned a while ago that you were dealing with maggots and mold, and I wonder if one of those things could be contributing to the kids’ illnesses? There is nothing “wrong” with this relationship whatsoever, but there’s this nagging part of me every now and then that wonders if this is a long-term/forever kind of relationship. It’s much better to have these feelings while dating than to have them when you’re married and finding a better match comes with hard decisions about kids and intermingled finances.