There is a difference between consent and enthusiastic consent – and we need to talk about it

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “I just think it’s really important to constantly check in with someone when you’re having sex,” my friend said out of nowhere. “They said that it’s a job and, like any other profession, there are days when work is a bit of a chore – and you still choose to turn up and do the work, because that’s how you’ve decided to earn a living.” We need to understand that saying ‘no’ to sexual activity can be completely non-verbal Ruth Micallef, counsellor and trauma expert It probably doesn’t help that enthusiasm can be easily faked – see that famous scene from When Harry Met Sally of Meg Ryan’s character faking an orgasm. “Personally, I can think of many times I have consented to sexual activities that I haven’t been 100 per cent enthusiastic about but happy to do,” says Isabelle Uren, who runs the sex positive website Bedbible.com. “We need to understand that saying ‘no’ to sexual activity can be completely non-verbal,” says Micallef.