A Fellow Parent Keeps Disciplining My Child for Normal Kid Behavior
SlateSlate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. Dear Care and Feeding, My 4-year-old’s friend’s parent has on many occasions chided my kid for what we see as normal 4-year-old behavior. The “script” is, “We know there are lots of different, equally good ways to raise a child, but since we have different expectations and rules for our kid than you do for yours, we’d be a lot happier if you didn’t scold Kid for being whiny, say, or not doing what you want them to do.” Sam will definitely be defensive; the conversation won’t be fun. But saying anything along those lines in front of the 4-year-olds will not only also make Sam defensive, it will embarrass them—and the kids will be paying close attention to this interaction and be affected by it in ways you can’t predict. Sam will either 1) calm down after you talk, and with any luck begin to police themself about their behavior toward your child; 2) pretend that convo didn’t happen and keep on keepin’ on ; or 3) remove themself and their kid from your world.
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