12 Ancient Giants: An Ode To The Enormous And Extinct

The past is packed with monsters! The capybara's now the largest rodent on the planet But Earth once housed a mighty mouse ten times more titanic With twelve-inch-long incisors — J. monesi wins the prize It truly was a rodent of a most unusual size You think this hog is homely? Cause here's a hippo relative they call the pig from hell As burly as a big bad wolf, with emphasis on big The Daeodon had all the strength of thirty little pigs The wombat is Australian. It has a rock-hard rear In combat with its ancient kin it wouldn't win, I fear Both wonders from Down Under raised their young inside of pouches But only one marsupial is bigger than most couches Behold the crafty crocodile complete with toothy grin Now see a Sarcosuchus smile — five feet from cheek to chin And speaking of dentition this big shark's name means big teeth* So its "now extinct" condition should be a huge relief If sloth's a sin then someone hurry up and call a priest Cause here's a Megatherium — four tons of sloth, at least With jumbo tongue, colossal claws, and tail braced on the ground It grazed for leaves high in the trees where modern sloths are found The rhino you and I know weighs at least a couple tons But if you dare — compare a Paraceratherium The largest vegetarian you'd ever care to see It was hornless and quite harmless. Four hundred thousand pounds — the largest creature known to science And so today we still can say we share the Earth with giants