Help! The Reason for My Divorce Is Really Intense. I Don’t Trust My Dates to Understand.

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. I’ve been divorced for two years and although I think about my son often, I feel like I’m in a more stable place with the grief, and the small rituals that let me honor him. My ex and I suffered a major loss—something I’m not really ready to talk about in detail yet—and our marriage didn’t recover” without naming your son or the details of the tragedy. Whatever feels easiest is the right choice, and it goes without saying that if any potential partner has the nerve to even lightly suggest that you didn’t deliver the information at the right time or in the right way, they get blocked immediately. Each time we’ve hung out since my divorce, Mary has confided in me that she is extremely unhappy in her marriage, complains about Sam’s drinking, and even calls him emotionally abusive.