It Might Be A Good Idea To Embrace 'Second Best' Parenting. Here's Why.

When my wife and I brought our first child home from the hospital, we planned on diligently following all of the expert recommendations regarding his care: He would breastfeed exclusively and sleep in a bassinet beside our bed, on his back, in a properly ventilated room. “When we tell people that it’s the ‘best or the rest,’ we do not allow for them to choose smartly among the rest,” Oster said. Geering said she often tells families that “we’re all doing the best we can with what we have” and advises, “Learn from your mistakes, repair as you go, and show your children how to hold compassion for yourself and those around you.” She likes the “good enough” phrasing because it makes room for the idea that there are many different options that might be “bests” for different families dealing with different circumstances. it’s really overwhelming.” Coming to peace with our parenting by using a “second best” or “good enough” mindset doesn’t come naturally to people raised in a culture of competition. because there was no ‘best’ thing.” Whether you think of it as “second best” or “good enough,” parenting within this framework, as opposed to one in which there is only one right option for all families, makes room for you to give yourself some grace.