How to avoid being a toxic friend

How to avoid being a toxic friend Javier Hirschfeld/ BBC/ Getty Images A few simple steps to improve your relationships can help make sure you are the kind of friend you would wish to have yourself. A toxic friend may be highly dismissive or judgemental about your feelings – resulting in a sense of rejection that only adds to the person's emotional burden. Javier Hirschfeld/ Getty Images/ BBC When a friend "vents", simply agreeing with them doesn't always help Just because we feel sympathy for someone's pain does not mean that we have to wholeheartedly agree with their interpretation of the situation, however. The psychological research suggests that there are four main obstacles to apologising effectively: we don't appreciate the harm we've caused; we assume that the act of apologising itself will be too painful and shaming; we believe that the apology will do little to repair the relationship; and finally, we may simply not understand what constitutes a good apology – so we fail to say the words that will be necessary for healing. In general, people feel relief at making amends for their wrongdoings, and we may be better able to rebuild the broken bridges than we expect – provided our apology is given in the right way.