Men and women apparently cheat for different reasons – but we may be fooling ourselves

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “Generally, men are more likely to be driven by physical factors like sexual desire and the appeal of variety,” says Dr Carolyne Keenan, resident psychologist on BBC Radio 1’s Life Hacks. This can lead to fantasies about being appreciated more by someone else.” In her experience, one of the most common reasons men cheat is “the desire for sexual variety or novelty”, a need for something new or different, even if they’re in a committed relationship. It can be helpful for couples to have conversations about their expectations of monogamy and, although it doesn’t sound very sexy, to agree on the way that will look for them in their particular relationship.” open image in gallery ‘Interpersonal dynamics around intimacy rarely conform to such reductive archetypes’ As I reflect back now on those “moments”, the ones that led my previous partners to cheat, and with the opinions of experts percolating, I realise that they likely didn’t have as much in common as I had once thought. Though two different men might have, at different times, found themselves unable to stop themselves “in the moment”, it’s unlikely this lack of control stemmed from the same thing.