My Girlfriend and I Have Finally Figured Out Why We Have Long Dry Spells. We’re Both Avoiding the Same Dreadful Thing.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Talking it over, we realized that this is because neither of us likes being the penetrative partner that much, and whoever initiates sex is usually the person that responsibility falls to, so we end up sitting around hoping the other person will initiate. We’ve tried plenty of strapless/double-ended strap ons and they seem to range from “unnoticeable” to “a mild tease”—nothing like the size or intensity needed for either of us to get off on topping. We have managed these past years by an unspoken back-and-forth deal, where we alternate who’s on top, but getting older it’s harder for us to find enough time to be able to switch right after or know when the next time we’ll get to have sex is. —Jessica More Advice From Slate I’m a woman who loves to have a LOT of sex, multiple times a day being ideal.