I Work With Dying Veterans. Here's Why I Don't Automatically Thank Them For Their Service.

"Many of the combat veterans I’ve known had spent decades trying not to think or talk about what they’d seen and done." It’s like you’re being choked to death from the inside and you look to others for help and they just smile and look away.” “Psychological and emotional violence,” I say. Most were, as combat veteran Tim O’Brien puts it, “carrying stuff.” Stuff many ― maybe most ― civilians wouldn’t understand. “When you’re looking back on a life that includes the cataclysmic violence and horrific loss and grief of war, this life review process can be psychologically and spiritually complex ― even painful.” As I walk back to the training, I think about a B-17 pilot who participated in bombing raids during World War II intended to incinerate German cities. Refusing to lead with the culturally sanctioned chant “Thank you for your service” sends the message to veterans like James that I’m not pushing a story that denies their experience.