How To Stay Married When You're An Introvert And He's An Extrovert

TOM MERTON VIA GETTY IMAGES Every Friday night, writer Jill Savage and her husband have conflicting opinions on how they’d like to spend the weekend. “My extrovert husband gets to Friday night and thinks, ‘It’s the weekend, who can we get together with?’ she explained, “I, on the other hand, get to Friday and think to my introvert self, ‘I’m so glad it’s the weekend because I don’t have to see any people until Sunday at church!’” Like many couples in mixed introvert-extrovert relationships, Savage and her spouse usually come to some kind of compromise. “But after listening to a podcast on the characteristics of introverts and extroverts, he learned that one of the big differences between the two is the number of friends they often have.” Once Savage’s hubby understood that preferring a few intimate friends to lots of less-intense friendships was characteristic of an introvert, he apologized for quietly judging her. “Many readily admit that they enjoy having their partner play ‘social director’ ― and several told me their extroverted partners had expressed appreciation for the way the introverts could get them to simmer down, to think before they spoke or encourage them to spend an evening on the couch.” When couples in mixed relationships feel frustrated by their differences, Dembling suggests thinking about specific benefits those differences bring to their lives. That means no covert punishment, no texting your partner all evening and no suspicious grilling later.” And sometimes, Dembling said it’s completely OK to tell your spouse, “Hey, I’d love it if you would hang out with me tonight and catch up on ‘Narcos.’” 7.