Letter from a concerned reader

Dear Sir/Madam, Earlier today, my four-year-old grandchild came to me and said: “Grandfather, I would like a new Nokia 3310 for my birthday.” Feeling very much amused at this I said: “And for Pongal I want you to gift me a brand new Sipani Montana D1 with Shakti-Mitsubishi diesel engine!” My grandchild simply looked at me silently for a few seconds, scowled and then walked away with that condescension that makes me want to whack her over the head with a telephone directory, but I cannot do it because my son works from home. I fondly remember the time I went to Sree Annapoorna restaurant on Crosscut Road in Coimbatore, and in the middle of drying my hands on the towel by the sink my hand slipped and my Nokia 3310 phone tumbled into a large stainless steel vat of rosemilk that was passing by. After a moment of disappointment, I calmly walked out of the shop without looking back due to the fact that it used to be ₹ 16 per minute for incoming calls in that time, and I was not Mukesh Ambani then or now. Just the other day, during breakfast, my elder grandson asked me if I had “fun during the 70s” with “bell bottoms and long hair and rock music.” I wanted to give him one rock music across the face with a stainless steel tumbler.