55 years, 3 months ago

My Girlfriend Is Very Different Than Everyone Else I’ve Slept With. It’s Making Me Rethink Everything.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Dear How to Do It, I am a 43-year-old pansexual, trans guy dealing with a couple of problems that don’t seem to be typical for guys like me. I’m in an open relationship with the best partner I have ever had, who is also a 48-year-old trans man; a boyfriend who is a 49-year-old cis male; and, recently, an amazing girlfriend, who is 47 and a female-bodied nonbinary femme. I feel both too gentle and also completely lost when I am trying to pleasure her clitoris and vulva, and I’m too freaked out to even attempt vaginal penetration. Right now, it sounds like you’re being put on the spot and commanded to conjure sex exactly as she likes it, and perhaps criticized when that fails to materialize.

Slate

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