The Only Way I Can Get Off Is Mortifying to Do in Front of Someone Else

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. I enjoy sex but have never orgasmed through penetrative sex, oral, or from fingering and I am not comfortable masturbating in front of a partner as I have to rub my clitoris on against something soft to get off—I don’t want someone watching me humping something! Give the doctor as much of your sexual timeline as you’ve given here—no partnered sex for several years with no UTIs, recurring UTIs since starting partnered sex again—along with descriptions of any UTI problems you may have had before you took that break from sex. I want you to know that rubbing the clitoris or pubic bone against something soft is a relatively common method of reaching orgasm, which is rarely depicted in media because it simply isn’t as cinematic and dramatic as the woman on her back with fingers or a vibrator—much less the visceral action of a dildo thrusting in and out, regardless of how rare it is for women to orgasm from penetration alone. If you’re comfortable, you also might sit on your partner’s face and, effectively, hump that—never in my vast sexual experience have I ever had a partner take issue with face humping, except for when I hit their nose the wrong way with my pubic bone.