Are you a people pleaser? It’s time we stopped raising our girls to put themselves last

The best of Voices delivered to your inbox every week - from controversial columns to expert analysis Sign up for our free weekly Voices newsletter for expert opinion and columns Sign up to our free weekly Voices newsletter SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. This means that women often become more attuned to other people’s emotions, and well-versed in modulating their emotions to suit the context and the needs of those around them. To keep up to speed with all the latest opinions and comment, sign up to our free weekly Voices Dispatches newsletter by clicking here In my upcoming book Hysterical, I show that girls develop a proclivity to appease adults, and often smile to ease discomfort in others. Girls and boys show no significant differences in the amount they smile until they reach early teenage years, when girls start smiling much more than boys, and similar differences have been noticed between teenage boys and girls, and adult women and men. I do not want my daughter to grow up with these expectations, or believe that her self-worth is linked to how much she is liked or appreciated by others, or how much she is able to suppress her own autonomy in favour of other people’s happiness and comfort.