Blogwatching: Opening night (a play about women, sex and porn)

The writer of Amsterfam moved from London to Amsterdam nearly two years ago with three kids. In my privileged capacity as Tulse Hill’s greatest export to Amsterdam, twice Mumsnet’s blog of the day, guardian of #stevethebakfiets, fair-weather Instagrammer, diarist, documenter of disaster, dealer in schadenfreude – ALL my stock is in schadenfreude, that’s my only horse in the race, if you start to yearn for some actual useful intel about Amsterdam then I am FUCKED, I tell you, FUCKED – I am often, these days, on the receiving end of a phenomenon that I believe is called reaching out. We haven’t known each other long, but I thought it would be nice to sit next to each other whilst we watch something called “Wet”, which is about women, sex and porn. The starting point is porn – we see Holly flicking through some generic snippets of internet porn, unable to find anything that really turns her on; men deliver packages and then get to the real package, women have been very naughty and need to be spanked, a secretary wants to know if there’s anything else she can do for her boss. Meanwhile, Holly’s flatmate, Sophie, has just been dumped by her boyfriend in favour of an Instagram Influencer called Simply Saskia who, I’m sure, has never been asked to review a fucking baby car seat.