No, you don’t have to push people around to be assertive

Anita Upadhyay, a 26-year-old media professional from Mumbai, was told by her friends that she needed to be more assertive with her toxic in-laws and fight for what she wanted. "My therapist told me that this wasn't assertiveness, but aggression and that assertiveness actually meant something else," she says, adding that she realised that she could be calm, composed and still be assertive. "If you notice, assertiveness is spoken about usually in the context of self alone, of one's goals and ambitions, or losses and power, which I feel is limiting," believes Chalill. "Assertiveness is asking for what you think you desire and are capable of," she says, adding that while it comes naturally for some people, others struggle with something as basic as saying no. Myth: Being assertive means raising your voice and overpowering an individual while speaking to them Fact: Assertiveness seldom requires an individual to raise their voice or overpower others.