I’ve been to A-Lister favourite wellness retreat Mayrlife seven times - here’s what you can expect

My sister Michaela is lying with her head in her hands groaning. open image in gallery The clinic believes that most exhausted visitors could do with a big dose of nature Let’s return to my sister on day three, who after snapping at me about the things she missed started to specifically bemoan the lack of anything sugary on the menu. open image in gallery Cryotherapy – marching in a room of -110 degrees for three minutes in your underwear Between breakfast and lunch, all manner of things can happen. You will likely see your doctor for one of the daily sessions of stomach massages, you may end up having an infusion of vitamins, perhaps someone like Wolfgang will massage you, maybe you will try something a little more intense: ozone therapy, in which a pint or so of blood is removed and swirled above your head to infuse it with ozone before returning it to your body; cryotherapy, where you march in a room of -110C for three minutes in your underwear; or gong therapy, where your body is covered in gongs that are played while you lie there gently vibrating under them. Similar things occur between lunch and dinner, but you’ll probably be encouraged to go for a walk because the clinic correctly believes that most exhausted visitors could do with a big dose of nature, to feel the crunch of the forest underfoot and to smell its library of alpine scents as you make your way around the lake.