The Most Damaging Things You Can Say To A People-Pleaser

bymuratdeniz via Getty Images "A people-pleaser needs to recognize the importance of self-care without feeling selfish or guilty," said Imi Lo, a therapist and owner of Eggshell Therapy. “Ask yourself, ‘Do I really want to do this or am I just getting caught up in what they’re saying is best for me?’” she said. Thanks for asking, though!’ or ‘That’s a great idea, but I’m going to pass this time’ can convey your wants without putting the other person down,” Huynh said. A better approach is to tell them, “I want you to know that I value your kindness, and it’s OK if you don’t feel the need to do things like this every time!” How to deal if you’re the people pleaser: McGirt recommends people-pleasers interrogate why they go to such great lengths to accommodate or spoil others in their lives. “Or even if you did something to warrant some anger, their show of anger isn’t a reflection of your worth — it’s usually a reflection of their emotional regulation skills.” zoranm via Getty Images “One thing people-pleasers need to work on is tolerating when someone is not happy with them," marriage and family therapist Lia Huynh said.