‘I had no choice’: The people who regret becoming parents

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “Parenting can be tough, and we are in a society that tells us we should have children and our family is not complete if we do not have them, but this isn’t true.” Psychologist Maja Tomse adds that parental regret is something that “comes up often” during her work with new parents. Every change in life inevitably brings some feelings of loss, and sometimes even an experience of becoming a parent can trigger these feelings.” open image in gallery Parental regret can affect your mental health Feeling regret or resentment towards your child is a normal feeling, she continues, but it’s something that is not often talked about. “The reality, though, is often the opposite – the invites dry up in most cases.” Megan adds: “We’ve forgotten how to support each other, and it does take a village to raise a child – but more often than not, one female carries the weight of the family and makes sacrifices.” Tomse explains that parental resentment mainly builds when a parent doesn’t have enough time to themselves any more, but she adds that acknowledging the resentment or regret is key. “By exploring feelings of resentment, we might begin to think more rationally about what’s happening, and feel the emotions which have been pushed aside.” She says the best way to move past parental regret or resentment is to think of your feelings as grief, and embrace each of the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.