I Found Out About My Boyfriend’s Sexual History. Then I Dumped Him. My Friend Is Appalled.
SlateHow to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. After getting HPV, and not clearing it for a long time, I don’t want to sleep with men who have engaged in risky sex, even with protection. It sounds terrible, but in every relationship I had, including the good ones, there were “surprises” that came up at some point related to a partner’s sex life, even after having specific conversations about it. Regarding your conversation with Ben, I didn’t read it as manipulative…until you described it in your closing words as “my plan to subtly get men’s opinions about sex.” If you specifically told him you were cool with sex work to get him to spill so that you could dump him, that would be a manipulation, but you didn’t state it that way initially. Enshrining traditional gender roles and having vanilla sex doesn’t really sound like ‘50s household kink.
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