Overscheduling and the teen mental health crisis: Parents who pulled back on youth sports and activities explain how they did it.

During the darkest depths of COVID, my husband and I had the same conversation over and over. Another mom who works full time outside the home says, “I judge my friends for having their elementary school kids in so many activities, but also worry that they’re judging me for not doing that.” Even for parents who resist overscheduling, it can be hard to find a middle road, because sports and activities ramp up so quickly. “There’s a group of kids in her grade who are all really athletic, and the parents have kept them out of club sports so they can do rec sports together,” she says. “And the kids who aren’t as good are also playing on the team; they haven’t been boxed out.” It also allows kids to try a bunch of sports, instead of focusing on one. Before his five children were in middle school, Llosa, his wife Mary, and other parents formed a loose group of seven or eight families who let their kids play sports together in Manhattan’s Central Park, with no formal coaching or supervision, “just a parent on a bench keeping an eye out.” While it was a little extra work on the front end, “it gave the kids the ability and opportunity to argue, to figure out how the games were going to work.” While I am loath to suggest more work for overburdened parents, Payne argues that this idea of a rotating neighborhood play group is a lot more time-efficient than schlepping kids to endless games and practices.