How to politely and productively disagree

How to politely and productively disagree In an age of Brexit, Trump and Covid-19, disagreements can feel acute. “Knowing that people do this differently, and one is not necessarily more correct than the other, means we should be a lot more careful with interpreting people's intended meanings beyond what they literally say.” So, the next time you find yourself in a debate that’s overheating fast, it could be worth stepping back to check that the other person hasn’t zoomed in or out from the original issue to a level that’s different from where you’re at. ‘Paradoxical thinking’ The second approach you could try is the “paradoxical thinking” technique being developed by psychologist Boaz Hameiri, now based at Tel Aviv University, as a way to moderate people’s views about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Hameiri advises using this approach with caution in everyday life, saying: “There's reason to believe – with some anecdotal evidence – that once people know your views about an issue and why you're now using this paradoxical thinking approach, it is more likely that they will resist this attempt to challenge their views.” However, if you think you can do it subtly, it might just work and avoid a more direct clash of views. For instance, if you’re having an argument with someone opposed to the use of face masks, Hameiri says you could try over-egging the notion that the threat of Covid-19 has been exaggerated, by asking a leading question like: “So, why do you think that the coronavirus pandemic is a complete hoax and people all around the world are conspiring to get you to wear a mask?” The role of facts A key impetus for Hameiri’s paradoxical thinking approach is the well-established finding that most of us are deeply wedded to our beliefs, especially concerning moral and social issues, such that when we’re presented with facts that contradict our beliefs, we often choose to dismiss or derogate those facts, rather than update our beliefs.