Are you an office chameleon? Why our professional and private selves are often very different

Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “At work, we play roles,” says Gapud, “whether it’s the role of the boss, or someone that’s client-facing, for example.” Goffman’s theory refers to a frontstage mentality – when we’re “on stage” we behave a certain way, the clothes we wear can be compared to an actor’s costume, and we speak with particular terms or acronyms, almost like a script. “There’s a degree of us putting on a mask,” says career coach Alice Stapleton, explaining that other changes might include adjusting our posture or using less slang. Sometimes it can be self-preservation – a coping strategy when you’re having to make quite tough decisions.” If you need to sack somebody, for example, take on an intimidating challenge, or carry out a task that you feel ethically conflicted about, you can tell yourself: “Well, that’s just my work self, that’s not really me.” Gapud says people adopt different selves to “detach” themselves from situations, “for their own sanity”. Gapud says shyness and anxiety at work tends to happen when there’s “a mismatch between what you feel like you can be and the role you have to play in that organisation’s culture”.