'I was thinking how I would survive this day': Robin Uthappa speaks about his battle with depression and suicidal thoughts

Uthappa spoke about the phase of his life when cricket was perhaps the only thing that kept him from “jumping off a balcony”. Robin Uthappa, a key member of the 2007 World T20 winning Indian team, has revealed that he battled clinical depression and suicidal thoughts for nearly two years during his career, a phase when cricket was perhaps the only thing that kept him from “jumping off a balcony”. There were times where I wasn’t even thinking about cricket, it was probably the farthest thing in my mind,” he said during the Royal Rajasthan Foundation’s live session ‘Mind, Body and Soul’. Cricket kept my mind off of these thoughts but it became really difficult on non-match days and during the off-season.” “On days, I would just be sitting there and would think to myself on the count of three, I’m going to run and jump off of the balcony but something kind of just held me back,” he recalled. You need to go through the lulls to make you feel ecstatic about the positives.” “I feel life is about balance and we can’t have it one way, a lopsided life is not going to be great, both negative and positive experiences are essential,” he said.