Why it’s also important to listen, not give advice

A client recently asked: “What is the best way to address a situation with a friend where I want to talk and vent about what I am feeling but I am not looking for any advice or a solution?” She said she had begun avoiding discussions with family and friends because she felt they move on to trying to solve the problem when all she needed was a listener in a safe space. As a therapist in sessions when clients want to talk about an experience, I ask, “How can I be present today, so that you feel heard?” There are times when the clients say they need to narrate what has happened and how they are feeling. I am not ready to receive any feedback or advice yet, would you be able to offer that compassionate space.” On a podcast I once heard, the host said “unsolicited advice is criticism”. I hear clients tell me how sometimes when they can see a solution in sight, they offer advice because they don’t want their loved one to struggle and continue being in pain.