L.A. Affairs: Why my search for love had to start with me
4 years, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: Why my search for love had to start with me

LA Times  

My path seeking love had been long and circuitous and took me through many L.A.-area neighborhoods. My dating life, if ever charted on Google Maps, would have red location dots all over the Greater Los Angeles area. Our dating life took us between my condo and his place in Burbank, a city I didn’t know well despite working in the area as a feature film marketing consultant for many years. But he fast became my “One and Only.” Unlike the others, he was available, he didn’t play games, and he was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met. Straight, gay, bisexual, transgender or nonbinary — L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for love in and around Los Angeles, and we want to hear your story.

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History of this topic

L.A. Affairs: As a divorced mom, I was conflicted about dating. Until I met him
1 week, 1 day ago

L.A. Affairs: As a divorced mom, I was conflicted about dating. Until I met him

LA Times  

I was three years post-divorce, with a 12-year-old son and a newly adopted puppy, living in Park La Brea, where a community of single moms had come together. She reminded me of my dating plan by saying, “It’s just one date.” Expecting the worst, I was surprised instead to meet a successful entrepreneur and triathlete with sexy curly hair, an …

L.A. Affairs: He was a rock star. I was just nice. Would our casual romance last?
3 weeks, 1 day ago

L.A. Affairs: He was a rock star. I was just nice. Would our casual romance last?

LA Times  

We met at a boba shop on Santa Monica Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue perfectly situated between our apartments in the lively heart of West Hollywood. I wore light-wash jeans with rips at the knees and a purple North Face long-sleeve that read “Save the Polar Bears.” My beige jacket was fluffy and felt excessive for an L.A. winter. “I just …

L.A. Affairs: We found a love we weren’t supposed to. Would we last forever?
1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: We found a love we weren’t supposed to. Would we last forever?

LA Times  

“Wait, you dated her? She’s basically royalty,” said an old schoolmate of my first love when we realized our mutual connection. I’d never met a Muslim person before coming to college, and here I was, walking into the mosque in my skinny jeans with a tiny silver cross hanging around my neck. Her family’s prominence in her home country, the …

L.A. Affairs: I wanted a deeper connection with this man. Did he only want me for sex?
1 month, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: I wanted a deeper connection with this man. Did he only want me for sex?

LA Times  

I wanted a deeper connection with this man. And “butterflies” mean you’re destined to repeat the dysfunctional patterns of your relationship with your parent with your new lover— a fast track to heartbreak. Afterward, I laid my head on his chest, saying, “I’ll leave; just give me a minute,” and then added, “Insert Billy Crystal’s line from ‘When Harry Met …

L.A. Affairs: We’re young and in love. Could our relationship go the distance?
2 months, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: We’re young and in love. Could our relationship go the distance?

LA Times  

Long Beach is not Los Angeles. The hometown of both Snoop Dogg and Billie Jean King — a set of Long Beach Polytechnic High graduates with pretty disparate skill sets — is culturally its own. As such, growing up in the LBC meant trips into Los Angeles were an occasion, the kind of pack-the-car event that is normally associated with …

L.A. Affairs: I met a stranger at the airport. And yes, I was having feelings for him
3 months, 2 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: I met a stranger at the airport. And yes, I was having feelings for him

LA Times  

My brother dropped me off curbside at Los Angeles International Airport and yelled, “Run!” Our timing getting to LAX was thwarted by the kind of notorious L.A. traffic that airline change fees and crushed dreams are made of. Without missing a beat, she shot back: “Good, because you’re very handsome.” We said goodbye in a flurry. Flying over Tulsa, Okla. …

L.A. Affairs: I went to the ER after a fall. But I might have left with a boyfriend
4 months, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: I went to the ER after a fall. But I might have left with a boyfriend

LA Times  

I am an 81-year-old widow with shaky balance. “When was the last time you had a drink?” “Last night I went out with my buddies and had a few beers.” So, he’s single! The last thing I said to her was, “Why should I?” “Because you never know.” “Not doing it,” I said loudly, hoping the subject would finally be …

L.A. Affairs: At 77, I had a crush on my best friend’s widower. Did he feel the same way?
5 months, 2 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: At 77, I had a crush on my best friend’s widower. Did he feel the same way?

LA Times  

At 77, I had given up. After two failed marriages and years of unsuccessful dating, I accepted what seemed to be my fate: single for almost 40 years and single for however many remained. After she died, Ty and I stayed in touch sporadically: a surprise sharing of his second granddaughter a year after we scattered my friend’s ashes, an …

L.A. Affairs: I discovered my dad’s secret children. It changed us forever
6 months, 4 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: I discovered my dad’s secret children. It changed us forever

LA Times  

We all have a past — little ghosts of heartache and regret that can haunt us forever. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs submission guidelines L.A. Affairs is a first-person column in the Los Angeles Times chronicling romance and relationships. As I became an adult and started to make my own mistakes — as I started to understand the weight a person’s decisions …

L.A. Affairs: I found love in a truly hopeless place. Yes, the office
8 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I found love in a truly hopeless place. Yes, the office

LA Times  

Heartbroken after a breakup that was long overdue, crushed by a stalled entertainment industry and depressed by my temporary day job at a dementia center, I grasped at any semblance of stability. Months of hopeful waiting ended with a curt dismissal: “We’ve decided to move forward with another candidate.” I was bitter, and my mind was overflowing with imagined shortcomings …

L.A. Affairs: I was new to Los Angeles. Was driving 70 miles for love worth it?
8 months, 3 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: I was new to Los Angeles. Was driving 70 miles for love worth it?

LA Times  

I begrudgingly met my husband. Driving two hours south through L.A., traffic pending, to visit a rowdy house of people I didn’t know did not sound desirable, especially when I had so much of California to explore. I am not one to believe in love at first sight but I remember the large wood panel door swinging open that first …

L.A. Affairs: I met my dream man. The only problem? He wasn’t my husband
11 months, 1 week ago

L.A. Affairs: I met my dream man. The only problem? He wasn’t my husband

LA Times  

I had been married for six weeks the night I met Anthony. Outside on the tiny patio, Anthony scooted in next to me with the bottles of Two-Buck Chuck we’d brought with us. My husband and I signed divorce papers nine months after we had said, “I do.” That summer Anthony called to say he’d been diagnosed with colon cancer. …

L.A. Affairs: I said, ‘I love you.’ She quickly replied, ‘As a friend, right?’
11 months, 2 weeks ago

L.A. Affairs: I said, ‘I love you.’ She quickly replied, ‘As a friend, right?’

LA Times  

My eyes scanned the crowd in the arrivals area of Terminal 5 at Los Angeles International Airport. Two years prior, on Jan. 17, 1994, the Northridge earthquake shook her parents’ Porter Ranch home violently, waking her and her family from their slumber. After a year of our digital friendship, I sat 3,000 miles away in my bedroom, but one night, …

L.A. Affairs: I was absolutely attracted to him. Then he body-shamed me
1 year, 1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: I was absolutely attracted to him. Then he body-shamed me

LA Times  

The night I met Buff Ben, I was coming from a Hinge date. “No, I hated it!” Ben smiled ruefully as he recounted his loneliness there: the time he had crushed openly on a fellow actor in a play before turning bitter when his advances were spurned. “I only date fit guys,” he said, as though this were so obvious …

L.A. Affairs: My mentor quietly quit me. Was the problem with my new guy or me?
1 year, 1 month ago

L.A. Affairs: My mentor quietly quit me. Was the problem with my new guy or me?

LA Times  

“I love your work. I felt I was writing one of the artist’s characters in real time. “A miracle!” the artist said, picking me up from LAX. “I even have someone to set you up with,” she said, showing me a photo of a tall man at one of her events. I can’t right now,” she said, describing mourning over …

L.A. Affairs: I help people learn to love well. How could I fall for a con man?
1 year, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I help people learn to love well. How could I fall for a con man?

LA Times  

Nine years ago, I fell for the son of my first boss in Hollywood. I stayed because I couldn’t believe the sweet teenager I’d known years ago would betray me. In the six years since leaving him, I’ve worked my 12-step program, cultivated a mindfulness practice and written a book. If I continue following my own advice — and I …

L.A. Affairs: I was a lonely widow for so many years. How could I find love again?
1 year, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I was a lonely widow for so many years. How could I find love again?

LA Times  

As a widow for nearly four years, I was hoping to answer the question “Can I find love again?” with a yes. After about a year, I joined an online community called Stitch in the hope that I would make new friends and connect with other people who had lost a partner. We also had a memorable New Year’s Eve …

L.A. Affairs: I finally met a good guy but then I was diagnosed with cancer. What now?
1 year, 5 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I finally met a good guy but then I was diagnosed with cancer. What now?

LA Times  

I had been unlucky in love. I see food and I eat it.” When he hears someone speaking Spanish, he says, “My Spanish stops at taco, burrito and enchilada.” There used to be an Orange County shopping complex called the Block, and whenever Rick had out-of-town company, he would ask them if they’d like to take a walk around the …

L.A. Affairs: I was focused on work. I didn’t realize he was flirting with me
1 year, 5 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I was focused on work. I didn’t realize he was flirting with me

LA Times  

When you’ve been in the bookstore business long enough, there are times when you start to think everybody’s got an angle. Maybe it’s just an L.A. thing, but it seemed that every time I stopped at a stoplight those days, some enterprising do-gooder would lean over from the next car with a crumpled card reading “We Fix Dents.” I didn’t …

L.A. Affairs: He changed my mind about love. I changed his about L.A.
1 year, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: He changed my mind about love. I changed his about L.A.

LA Times  

My divorce papers were signed, and I had just graduated from seven years of a grueling general surgery residency in New York City. My soon-to-be ex-husband helped me find an all-women surf and yoga camp in beautiful Costa Rica en route to L.A. Luckily, my ex and I were amicable enough, and he reminded me that I had always wanted …

L.A. Affairs: We both loved L.A. Then she wanted to try a new city
1 year, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: We both loved L.A. Then she wanted to try a new city

LA Times  

Our L.A. stories were bridged in more ways than one on our first date. She was from the San Gabriel Valley and I’m from South L.A. During our post-dinner walk, we found ourselves at the foot of the 6th Street Viaduct, which neither of us had visited before. The panoramic view made me reflect on the good times we had …

L.A. Affairs: He treated me how I wished I could treat myself
1 year, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: He treated me how I wished I could treat myself

LA Times  

I met Justin under dinosaur bones. As we weaved through gleaming stones in the Gem and Mineral Hall, I learned Justin had an identical twin brother, that he’s friends with his parents and that he felt called to help people. As we meandered outside the museum, the reinvigorating night air whispering to me that Justin and I were alive at …

L.A. Affairs: Online dating wasn’t going well. Was I geographically undesirable?
1 year, 9 months ago

L.A. Affairs: Online dating wasn’t going well. Was I geographically undesirable?

LA Times  

“Lynn from Sherman Oaks, meet Jay from Long Beach.” That’s how the introductory email from eHarmony began. This is Los Angeles, where a man from Santa Monica turned me down for a first date because, as he put it, “It’s just too difficult to come over the hill.” Then there was another potential suitor who told me, “You just made …

L.A. Affairs: I was too happy and in love to notice the red flags
1 year, 10 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I was too happy and in love to notice the red flags

LA Times  

I landed in Los Angeles with my 10- and 12-year-old daughters in December 2013. We met during a last-minute visit to go see Simon, my old friend and first agent, who lived near Montana Avenue in Santa Monica. We would host dinners together in Adriano’s condo in Santa Monica and we’d also take the girls to the California Science Center, …

L.A. Affairs: 14 people who made big moves for love. But the risks didn’t always pay off
1 year, 10 months ago

L.A. Affairs: 14 people who made big moves for love. But the risks didn’t always pay off

LA Times  

It’s Valentine’s Day, and what better way to celebrate than to read some heartfelt tales of people who threw caution to the wind to pursue a love affair in Los Angeles? To make sure you get your fill of love stories today, we’ve included an essay about a couple who met as teenagers before their love story was revived decades …

L.A. Affairs: I love my husband but I also love dating women
1 year, 11 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I love my husband but I also love dating women

LA Times  

I’ve had an open marriage for a year and a half now. On TikTok, a creator I like, who’s known for her lesbian thirst traps, began remarking on how many of her followers were women in “straight” marriages. I’d thought vaguely since high school that I wanted to have a relationship with a woman someday, but I had my hands …

L.A. Affairs: I wasn’t looking for love. What I was after was a green card
1 year, 11 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I wasn’t looking for love. What I was after was a green card

LA Times  

I came to Los Angeles as a foreign student from Germany to study acting, and I wanted to stay a little longer to dodge bad weather at home and add acting credits to my résumé. I began interviewing eligible men in the clubs on Sunset Boulevard or in Venice Beach, and the offers ranged from “Pay me $5,000 and I’ll …

L.A. Affairs: My relationship status dramatically changed while I was on a pilgrimage
2 years ago

L.A. Affairs: My relationship status dramatically changed while I was on a pilgrimage

LA Times  

My wife Kathy died in 2018 on my birthday, March 24, from breast cancer. Fulfilling a long-held dream with Mary’s help, on Sept. 1 I began the Camino de Santiago in Spain, a 500-mile walk from the French border to Santiago de Compostela in northwest Spain. I came home one day in a torrential L.A. downpour and found at my …

L.A. Affairs: There was a big problem in our relationship. He lived in Nashville
2 years, 3 months ago

L.A. Affairs: There was a big problem in our relationship. He lived in Nashville

LA Times  

Chad’s profile picture on Tinder was a black-and-white photo of him singing into a mic with a fedora on his head. A line read, “All those wasted years I thought were overdue / were leading me to you.” That Christmas, Chad drove me to his family’s home in Delaware. He held my hand and said, “It would be cool if …

L.A. Affairs: I wanted romance. He made me feel weird about sex. Here’s what happened
2 years, 4 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I wanted romance. He made me feel weird about sex. Here’s what happened

LA Times  

When I moved to L.A. to change my life, Jon Hamm was on my mind. I started out as a woman who didn’t know what it meant when someone asked, “Are you in the industry?” “What industry?” I’d reply. We had a phone call, and not only did he ask me about the classes that I’d taught back in Ithaca …

L.A. Affairs: My ex tried to play matchmaker for me. What could possibly go wrong?
2 years, 4 months ago

L.A. Affairs: My ex tried to play matchmaker for me. What could possibly go wrong?

LA Times  

It’s the end of August, but Costco already has Christmas decorations and 20-pound bags of individually wrapped candy canes for sale. “There’s the one who smells like dog food and the one who calls me whore. He used to call anyone who was into that a “macropsychotic.” After all these years, we are still good friends, and it boggles his …

L.A. Affairs: I finally found love and joy at 74. Then the pandemic happened
2 years, 5 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I finally found love and joy at 74. Then the pandemic happened

LA Times  

I met Ruben in 2012 in a yoga class on Larchmont Boulevard for people with HIV. I figured I’d visit him in Mexico whenever I could, and we’d enjoy whatever time we could spend together. After two weeks, I could see how impoverished his life had become as a blind man with HIV, bereft of his friends, as well as …

L.A. Affairs: I met the perfect guy. Then I learned that he lived in the Valley
2 years, 5 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I met the perfect guy. Then I learned that he lived in the Valley

LA Times  

When I was 45, I decided it was time to try online dating again. None of my previous relationships had worked out, but I still hadn’t given up on finding “the right one.” If I was going to meet this right one, it wouldn’t happen because he showed up at my door — not with the gated entrance at my …

L.A. Affairs: I signed up for online dating. Are L.A. men really this extra?
2 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I signed up for online dating. Are L.A. men really this extra?

LA Times  

After a difficult breakup and many months of reflection, I decided it was time to join the online dating scene. I was clear that I wanted a relationship that would offer great communication, trust, affection and love and involve someone who would become my best friend. Within a day, I received my first message, which posed the question: “Do you …

L.A. Affairs: Her firecracker wit was the reason for the fireworks before the fireworks
2 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: Her firecracker wit was the reason for the fireworks before the fireworks

LA Times  

I met my wife at a Fourth of July party held on the third of July. You’re the copy chief at Doyle Dane Bernbach.” “And who are you?” I asked. She also told me about attending a two-hour meeting to decide if a hair-coloring product produced “believable” or “unbelievable” hair. To which she said, “Who asked you?” Two years later, …

L.A. Affairs: My boyfriend was planning to visit me. Then I discovered his big secret
2 years, 6 months ago

L.A. Affairs: My boyfriend was planning to visit me. Then I discovered his big secret

LA Times  

When my grandmother died five years ago, my mom asked my oldest brother, Marc, to invite his friend to the wake. She had also made it a couple months before when she mailed my maltipoo, Benedict, a turquoise handkerchief with a message in white font: “My mom is single.” She knew my status. Once, when I knew he was about …

L.A. Affairs: After a few failed relationships, was this one for real?
2 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: After a few failed relationships, was this one for real?

LA Times  

Dear Alvaro, I met you two weeks after my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer in the summer of 2021. While at the Monterey Park Hospital, knowing more about my dad’s prognosis and trying my best to hide my tears, I found solace in the dating apps. Nevertheless, I enjoyed all our outings: those hours we spent exploring …

L.A. Affairs: My dating sidekick is a baby. It’s a problem
2 years, 9 months ago

L.A. Affairs: My dating sidekick is a baby. It’s a problem

LA Times  

Erica and I are waiting for coffees in front of All Time’s sidewalk service counter, Jack in his stroller between us. I would like her to know that I am Jack’s father’s friend, who was figuring things out when the COVID-19 pandemic arrived and now lives in the guest house while he finishes grad school. When I asked her if …

L.A. Affairs: How I got a second chance at love
2 years, 9 months ago

L.A. Affairs: How I got a second chance at love

LA Times  

In the year after my husband’s death from a massive heart attack, I functioned, but only barely. “I didn’t have that problem,” he said, “When I divorced, my wife got the house and I got the books.” Ah, I thought. I was wearing one of my favorites, a chic Italian knit sheath, and he said to me, “That’s a very …

L.A. Affairs: Texting destroyed our relationship. Don’t let it come for yours
2 years, 10 months ago

L.A. Affairs: Texting destroyed our relationship. Don’t let it come for yours

LA Times  

I’m normally a very even-keeled guy, and I can ride the ups and downs of life with aplomb. We were now days into this texting game, and this should surely be seen as a positive development; if she wasn’t interested, we would have already fizzled out. I’d had a few relationships in my life that had ended prematurely for a …

L.A. Affairs: All the things I wish I’d said to you
3 years, 2 months ago

L.A. Affairs: All the things I wish I’d said to you

LA Times  

It’s your last night in Los Angeles. You remind me your new boss is a long shot to win and say that maybe you’ll be back in L.A. before I know it. I tell you it supposedly takes two years to feel at home in Los Angeles and that you’ve only known me for a few months so you can’t …

A summer to remember: Our favorite summertime reads from L.A. Affairs
3 years, 4 months ago

A summer to remember: Our favorite summertime reads from L.A. Affairs

LA Times  

As summer comes to its unofficial end with Labor Day, we’re hanging on for as long as we can. We scoured the L.A. Affairs archives and came up with 13 stories that are sure to make you laugh, cry, roll your eyes and even sigh at the roller-coaster ride that is known as the search for love in L.A. One …

L.A. Affairs: The secret to ending my lonely nights? I’ve started dating couples
3 years, 4 months ago

L.A. Affairs: The secret to ending my lonely nights? I’ve started dating couples

LA Times  

I’m not normally the kind of guy who brags, but for the record, I have now aced this whole dating business. I’ve done this any number of times — with my publishing mogul friends Paddy and Scott, theater impresarios Alan and Ronda, and my comedy writing pals Andy and Michele. They’re desperate for new company, for someone who hasn’t heard …

L.A. Affairs: What might have happened if we’d gotten that drink?
3 years, 5 months ago

L.A. Affairs: What might have happened if we’d gotten that drink?

LA Times  

I was visiting a friend in New Zealand in 2019 when I had an extra travel day. Whether you’re looking for ocean views or desert landscapes or soaring mountain peaks, Los Angeles offers miles upon miles of strikingly different trails. Lifestyle Here are 10 of the best L.A. Affairs columns of all time We collected some of our favorite L.A. …

L.A. Affairs: I’m a trans woman. And, for once, I wasn’t fetishized
3 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I’m a trans woman. And, for once, I wasn’t fetishized

LA Times  

As a trans woman, I feel like a fling, a phase, a passing interest for someone to explore before they settle down — with someone else. My boyfriend was a fresh college grad at the time, the rent for his room was cheap, and they all seemed “nice enough.” Two weeks after losing his job, my boyfriend’s roommates revealed “it …

L.A. Affairs: They’re young and in love. And they each have a secret
3 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: They’re young and in love. And they each have a secret

LA Times  

We were both hiding a part of ourselves from the other. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs: 14 perfect stories for Valentine’s Day We’ve curated 14 of our favorite stories about love, culled from the archives of L.A. Affairs, the column dedicated to the ups and downs of the search for love in Southern California. Each time Leo would drive down to Los …

L.A. Affairs: The sheer exhaustion of dating as a single mom
3 years, 7 months ago

L.A. Affairs: The sheer exhaustion of dating as a single mom

LA Times  

We love each other but we can’t stay married because he is a person with alcoholicism who won’t acknowledge his problem. Yet over the next seven years I’ll share my bed with a series of highly unavailable people: a funny and handsome podcast producer who announces within the first moments of our meeting that he’ll never marry or live with …

L.A. Affairs: She told me the exact date she was going to shatter my heart
3 years, 8 months ago

L.A. Affairs: She told me the exact date she was going to shatter my heart

LA Times  

I realized there was still so much I wanted to share with her. Lifestyle Here are 10 of the best L.A. Affairs columns of all time We collected some of our favorite L.A. Affairs columns — which run weekly in the Los Angeles Times, and chronicle the ups and downs of dating in Los Angeles and the search for love …

L.A. Affairs: I finally figured out why my marriages kept failing
3 years, 8 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I finally figured out why my marriages kept failing

LA Times  

During my first marriage, I kept forgetting my anniversary. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs: 14 perfect stories for Valentine’s Day We’ve curated 14 of our favorite stories about love, culled from the archives of L.A. Affairs, the column dedicated to the ups and downs of the search for love in Southern California. But she walked straight up to me, interrupted my conversation …

L.A. Affairs: I survived a plane crash when I was 15. Now I know why
3 years, 10 months ago

L.A. Affairs: I survived a plane crash when I was 15. Now I know why

LA Times  

I finally had an answer to the question that had haunted me. “Why do you think you were the only survivor?” That’s a question I’ve heard many times over the years since I was in an airplane that crashed, killing everyone else aboard. Lifestyle L.A. Affairs: 14 perfect stories for Valentine’s Day We’ve curated 14 of our favorite stories about …

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