Nurse accused of baby murders wrote note saying ‘I killed them on purpose’

For free real time breaking news alerts sent straight to your inbox sign up to our breaking news emails Sign up to our free breaking news emails Please enter a valid email address Please enter a valid email address SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. She wiped away tears with a tissue as the court heard her explanation as to why she had written: “I’ll never have children or marry, I’ll never know what it’s like to have a family.” The detective asked: “What did you mean by that Lucy?” Court artist sketch of Lucy Letby appearing in the dock at Manchester Crown Court where she is charged with the murder of seven babies and the attempted murder of another 10 Letby replied: “Just that I’d never meet anybody and therefore I’d never have a family. The detective said: “And why was that?” Letby said: “Cos I just felt so isolated and alone.” The detective asked: “In your own mind had you done anything wrong at all?” Letby said: “No, not intentionally, but I was worried that they would find that my practice hadn’t been good…” The detective said: “What made you think they might find something that was wrong or that you shouldn’t have done?” A note found in the house of Lucy Letby Letby said: “It was more that I was worried they’d already gone to the lengths of redeploying me and moved me from the unit and banning contact, I didn’t know how it was gonna go. Letby said: “They also said that there was some other people that had flagged as being on shift for a lot of them and that myself and these other people are gonna have to be going and redoing our competencies.” Asked why she wrote “slander, discrimination and victimisation” on the note, she replied: “Cos I felt that the trust and the team were trying to imply that it, it was something I’d done.” She added: “I’d lost everything and obviously mum and dad were down in Hereford… and I thought we were a good team regardless of who was my friends, we were a good nursing team on the unit and I’d just lost that. “I felt if my practice hadn’t been right then I had killed them and that was why I wasn’t good enough.” The sympathy card that was shown to the jury in the Lucy Letby murder trial at Manchester Crown Court The detective said: “In what way do you think your practice might have been the reason why these babies have died?” Letby said: “I didn’t know, I thought maybe I’d missed something, maybe I hadn’t acted quickly enough.” The detective went on: “And you felt evil?” Letby replied: “Other people would perceive me as being evil, yes, if I had missed something.” Asked why she wrote ‘I don’t deserve mum and dad’, she said: “I felt so guilty that they have to go through this, that I wasn’t good enough for them or any of them and it was all just becoming a big mess and I’d just be better off out of it for everybody.” Letby said she was the first person in the family to go to university and move away from home.