She was horrified to learn that her mother-in-law bathed with her 3-year-old. Her husband thinks her reaction is wrong.

Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so today we’re diving into the archives of Care and Feeding, Slate’s parenting advice column, to share classic letters with our readers. We’re trying to get the point across now that some body parts are “private.” When I brought this up with my husband, he thought it was a good thing because our daughter gets to see different types of bodies. Logically, I understand his point, but part of me still feels weird about it, and part of me is a little more than bothered that my in-laws never asked if this was OK. As a side note, my in-laws have made well-meaning but somewhat damaging comments in the past around our daughter about women’s bodies, so I’m not always thrilled with having them be the messengers for her when it comes to talking about bodies. Each time this happens, it causes all sorts of hurt feelings for her—“Bethany was invited to sleep over, but I wasn’t”—and frankly I can’t understand why any parent would allow their daughter to have this kind of party. From: My Daughter Keeps Getting Excluded From “VIP” Birthday Slumber Parties Dear Care and Feeding, My 7-year-old daughter has pulled me aside several times over the past few months to tell me that she is sad because she has so much hair on her upper lip.