Camping and cooking pasta: My absurd, delicious attempt to make linguine and clams in the wilderness.

One thing about me: I have a thirst for hard work and idiocy. Here are the ingredients I hauled into my camping pack—alongside toilet paper, bug spray, a knife, water, clothes, and other essentials: 1 pound of linguine Several cans of good-quality chopped sea clams A bottle of white wine A bottle of olive oil Garlic An onion Fresh parsley Lemons A hunk of good Pecorino Romano Plus, some equipment: A small wooden cutting board My chef knife, wrapped in a towel A microplane for lemon zest and cheese A 12-inch sauté pan Some rags Earlier, I said that I’ve never been camping. My camping backpack was too heavy, and I hadn’t packed the olive oil properly. Next, I made the sauce: A heavy dose of extra-virgin olive oil, several cloves of sliced garlic, sweet onion, and crushed red pepper swirled around a 12-inch sauté pan resting on a portable, foldable camping grill. Liana asked for more olive oil on top of her pasta, and I couldn’t have jumped out of my tiny, foldable REI chair faster.