The Twelve Days of Christmas: Refashioned for Europe 2024

Published : Dec 27, 2024 09:19 IST - 5 MINS READ Susan Ram is a columnist who has spent much of her life viewing the world from different geographical locations. While Europe’s royals and nobility indulged in extravagant banquets, ordinary folk would gather to “wassail”: a spot of pagan fun centred on drinking to one another’s health, often while singing about it. Fortunately, 21st century Europe is replete with quirky possibilities, usually in human rather than animal form, and often deserving of mockery and lampooning from “below.” In fact, a reconfiguring of the song along these lines would align it more closely with the ribaldry, irreverence and open contempt for authority that also flourished in festive, mid-winter medieval Europe. Elisabeth Borne, Gabriel Attal, Michel Barnier: all have been and gone, while François Bayrou, the latest superannuated politico to be drafted into Macron’s mission to defy French voters, seems set for an equally short sojourn. On the twelfth day of Christmas my ruler gave to me Twelve politicos bellowing, Eleven accountants fiddling, Ten Labour Lords a’fawning, Nine cruel women smirking, Eight system milkers, Seven teams not swimming, Six futures fading, FIVE MULTI BILLIONAIRES!