The 1 Thing Parents Of College Students Shouldn't Do

LOADING ERROR LOADING When the parents of today’s teens were in college, if they wanted to talk to their mom or dad they had to go to their dorm room and dial their home phone number on a bulky phone with a long, spiraled cord. Michael P. McNeil, a professor at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health who presents a summer webinar for the parents of undergrads, told HuffPost that these findings aligned with those of previous studies showing that “regular, scheduled check-ins can encourage and reinforce positive health behaviors in that student.” McNeil recommends that parents and students talk about how and with what frequency they will communicate before the student arrives on campus so that everyone has a “shared expectation.” Duckworth and her fellow researchers did find some differences in parent communication and its effect among different groups of students. “When parents initiated communication more than students, students felt less positively about their relationship with their parents the following day,” Duckworth said. One possible interpretation of this data, Duckworth said, is that a parent’s frequent texts or calls indicate hyper-involvement, or “helicopter parenting.” This might make it difficult for first-year college students to develop “autonomy and independence, critical skills for new college students.” So if you find that you’re sending multiple texts that go unanswered or your calls all land in voicemail, it might be a sign to back away and give your child some space. “We did not find that mode of communication impacted relationship quality,” Duckworth said, adding that parents should know “even simple text check-ins can positively impact their student.” McNeil also recommends quick messages as a way to show your child you’re thinking about them without intruding on their efforts to socialize and adjust to campus life.