2 Phrases You’ll Probably Regret Saying To Your Tween

Thomas Barwick via Getty Images My tween daughter loves to say, “I’m practically an adult.” At first I was flabbergasted. After a few weeks of hearing her talk about getting older, I started complimenting my daughter’s good behavior by saying, “That’s so grown-up,” and I reacted to her bad behavior by saying, “You’re acting like a little kid.” I soon learned that these two powerful phrases were guaranteed to get an instant reaction. When I criticized her for “acting like a kid,” she’d debate me on how an adult would act, and we’d completely lose sight of the situation that brought us there in the first place. “Consciously or not, tweens start to think about preparing themselves for adulthood and becoming increasingly independent,” Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist and the author of New York Times bestseller “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers,” told HuffPost.”They start to strive to be more grown-up and to be more self-sufficient.” This manifests in different ways; your tween might make statements like “I’m practically an adult,” or they might head to Sephora to buy skin care products. Saying “you’re acting like a little kid” or “can’t you just act your age?” might feel like the right thing, but this language can actually worsen behavior.