My Parents Expect Me To Take Care Of Them And I Don't Know What To Do About It

In a Chinese society where tiger parents are the norm, children from a young age are pushed to become the best of the best by attending kindergarten prep schools that include supplemental curriculum not found at other schools, such as English accent “correction” classes, after-school tutorial centers and other extracurricular activities. Growing up in Hong Kong, my traditional Chinese parents were no different, often exclaiming, “I can’t wait until our daughter grows up and buys the luxurious mansion/car/dinner for us!” and then they’d turn to me and say, “When we’re retired, remember what we did for you!” I’d always respond with something along the lines of panicked smiling, wavering eye contact and mental calculations of whether it would be remotely possible for me to buy them the items they were referring to. They made sure every action that I made would be beneficial to my future, and forbade anything that might have led me toward an unsuccessful life ― or what they viewed as a path of “irreversible doom.” Although I see now they only wanted the best for me, and I appreciate them investing so much money and time into my growth and potential, my teenage self was filled with stress and, frankly, resentment and anger directed at my parents for the high expectations and the lack of freedom I had for my own life — from my parents banning all sleepovers to turning down my pleas to study art in high school, and forcing me to break up with boyfriends to focus on my studies. “I appreciate my parents investing so much into my growth and potential, but my teenage self was filled with resentment directed at my parents for the high expectations and the lack of freedom I had for my own life.” Since they didn’t let me study art, they pushed me toward taking business classes in school thinking it would lead to higher wages and better job prospects. “The feeling of inadequacy and the pressure of earning more money linger in mind every time my parents half-jokingly remind me that I’m their retirement plan.