I Gave My Boyfriend an STI. Now I’m Being Held Hostage in the Relationship.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. I can see moving forward quite happily without partnered sex, or without genital contact but I assume that isn’t a life he’d pursue if we separated. Dear Virus, Regardless of whether you knew you had herpes and disclosed that knowledge to your partner or not, you don’t owe him a lifetime of romance that you don’t want. You’ll also want to let your partner know that this is a phenomenon you experience and it usually shows up strongest when you’re super into someone. If you’re having a hard time permitting yourself to take as long as you take, or if that permission isn’t getting you anywhere, a specialist in sex therapy may be able to help.