My Husband Demanded All Kinds of “Promises” Before We Had a Kid. Now He’s Refusing to Budge.

55 years, 2 months ago

My Husband Mostly Refuses to Care for Our Child—and When He Does, It Leaves Me Concerned

Slate

Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so today we’re diving into the archives of Care and Feeding, Slate’s parenting advice column, to share classic letters with our readers. The few times I have left them alone together, I’ve come home to find my husband playing video games and a child who is unfed and uncared for. I …

Child Care Video Games Baby Your Child Son Her Husband

2 weeks, 1 day ago

We couldn't let my mother-in-law take care of our daughter. Her husband says we should be "ashamed."

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. Dear Care and Feeding, We are currently getting our daughter registered for next year’s pre-K program, which has to be completed by the end of this month and is a binding commitment. My mother-in-law wants very much to provide care for my daughter around pre-K and has let us know …

Care Daughter Know Husband My Husband My Mother His Father

3 weeks, 6 days ago

My Sister-in-Law Told Me I Need to Take My Fertility and Having Kids “Seriously.” She’s Crossing a Major Line.

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. She constantly complains about my brother not doing “enough” to help out or support her career and goes on and on about the kids driving her crazy. On my last visit, my sister-in-law physically grabbed me and told me my fertility was not some “joke” and I needed to get …

Kids Brother Person Let My Sister Your Brother

1 month, 1 week ago

Parenting advice: My husband never wanted kids. Now he’s a great father—and I’m miserable.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. My partner never wanted kids, and I felt like I had “no right” to ask for anything while I was pregnant because he didn’t want the kid to begin with. I’ve hung up the phone when politics comes up, begged him to stop, and even gave him “the last word,” hoping it …

Love Parenting Relationship Care Stop Know Dear Care

1 month, 2 weeks ago

How to respond to in-laws pressuring you about kids - even in 2025

India Today

The solution to any marital problem? It all starts with small hints like: Do you know, Mrs Kapoor’s daughter is due next month” or maybe “Oh look how cute is that baby”. Then, a level up: “We’re not getting any younger, you know.” And finally, the emotional manipulation boss level: “What if something happens to us, and we never get …

Family Couple Pressure Baby Decision Both Partners Dr Khanna

55 years, 2 months ago

My Husband Refuses to Accept a Key Reality of Parenthood. It’s Making Living in Our House Difficult.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. That’s what my husband and I call our life before we had our son, as in: “Remember the before-times, when we could sleep in and spend an entire Sunday rotting on the couch, eating takeout and watching movies?” It is easy to miss the before-times, even if you’re so happy to be …

Sleep Care Baby Need Husband My Husband Question

1 month, 4 weeks ago

DEAR JANE: I thought something I did to my son as a baby made me a good parent. Now I'm terrified it'll ruin his adult life

Daily Mail

Dear Jane, My son just turned 17 and I'm starting to get very worried about a bad habit he has developed. By the age of one, he would begrudgingly eat plain things like pasta, but he refused vegetables and almost anything with too much flavor. Dear Jane: I thought something I did to my son as a baby made me …

Relationship Feel Son Things My Son Good Dear Jane

2 months ago

My Mother-in-law Keeps Badgering Me About Giving Her Grandkids. I Can’t Believe the Lie My Husband Told Her.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Then, when we got engaged, she started making comments like, “now that you’re getting married, it’s time to rethink having children, a family isn’t a family without kids.” I told my husband to handle it and he said that she’s always had these feelings and probably couldn’t be swayed. —Childfree chaos Dear …

Kids Work Care Going Things Husband His Mother

2 months ago

My Mother-in-Law Claims She Likes Being My On-Call Babysitter. Her Husband Says She’s “Lying.”

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. Dear Care and Feeding, When I went back to work and our kids went to daycare after our second baby two years ago, my mother-in-law volunteered to provide emergency sick-child care for us as long as the kids weren’t puking and she didn’t need to manage any medicine beyond acetaminophen/ibuprofen. …

Kids Help Told My Husband Mil My Mil

2 months, 1 week ago

I Stopped Keeping the Peace With My Nightmarish Ex-Husband. It’s Had an Unintended Consequence.

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. It was an “amicable” divorce mostly because I knew I couldn’t afford to fight him on much, and after five years of marriage, I knew how to flatter his ego. Don’t go airing your dirty laundry; it will only make you look petty, and your ex-husband could ramp up his …

2 months, 2 weeks ago

Marriage advice: My husband missed a prenatal appointment. I don't know if I can forgive him.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. During the fight that ensued, my husband said something awful to me: “I don’t think you’ll be a good mother.” It’s been over three months, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Dear Care and Feeding, What do you do when your son’s best friend is not a good influence on your …

Advice Cats Behavior Care Help Son Know

2 months, 4 weeks ago

Help! My Mom Was Right About My Husband. Now I Need to Admit It.

Slate

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. —Sad Daughter Dear Sad Daughter, First, give yourself some grace for exercising your independence and making your own life choices without needing your mother’s approval. And between you and me, there’s simply nothing a concerned mother ever wants to hear more than: “I love you, and I need you.” Get advice from Prudie—submit a …

Family Life Right Feel Help Need Leave

3 months, 1 week ago

My Kids Have Started Exploring Grown-Up Foods. But My Family Wants to Stand in Their Way.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. —No More Chicken Fingers Dear Chicken Fingers, You are each trying to accomplish specific goals: She wants to save money and not have an aggrieved daughter in the process, and you want to keep encouraging your kids to explore foods without losing the momentum you’ve established. I said something along the lines …

Family Kids Care Way Need Things Daughter

3 months, 3 weeks ago

I Decided to Teach My Young Nephew an Important Lesson During a Round of Pool. Uh, I’ve Been Uninvited to Christmas.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, I have a 21-year-old nephew, “Marcus,” who I’ve never been extremely close to, due to distance and other logistics. As we were leaving Marcus’s dad came up and handed me a check and said, “Here, we are even, but if you think you are coming to our house …

Family Money Care Feel Way Daughter Your Daughter

4 months, 2 weeks ago

Memo to my family: Stop asking me when I’m going to make you grandparents

The Independent

The best of Voices delivered to your inbox every week - from controversial columns to expert analysis Sign up for our free weekly Voices newsletter for expert opinion and columns Sign up to our free weekly Voices newsletter SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. Soon, swathes of grandparents were sharing …

Children Parents Feel Come Stop Asking That Disappointment

55 years, 2 months ago

Parenting advice: My son expects me to wreck my nest egg to fix his absurd financial mistakes.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I said no and that I would help out in any way I could, but I needed to protect my own financial interests and didn’t have that kind of money to give away. I asked the owner if a 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift was available, and he said, “You’re hired.” …

Family Advice Money Work Going Son Told

55 years, 2 months ago

Parent advice: Our daughter and her husband fought years ago. We're the ones paying for it.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Be honest with yourself: “Dynamic with my daughter in the family home” probably means “Dynamic with my daughter while her parents are around.” Based on the fact that you haven’t seen him since then, it seems like it’s not your house, it’s you and your partner that are intrinsic to the issue. …

Family Advice Life Care Phone House Going

4 months, 3 weeks ago

How to be a good parent in the modern age: Forget everything you've been told, says a top psychologist. Here's the science-backed truth about screens and sugar - and exactly how to tell your child off

Daily Mail

Love, firm boundaries, consistency, quality time, praise – and of course discipline when needed. Even those whose children have turned out pretty much as they expected tend to be fixated on things like the way their children don’t love reading as much as they do. This focus on habits morphs into a core parenting assumption as they get older: we …

Parenting Children Parents Child Way Your Child Told

4 months, 4 weeks ago

Here's The 1 Thing Parents Get Wrong About Raising Confident Kids

Huff Post

LOADING ERROR LOADING Raising confident kids today can feel like an uphill battle — particularly in a time when social media stirs up feelings of inadequacy, comparison and self-doubt among young people. The key thing to remember, she said: “Competence builds confidence, not praise.” “Telling your kid they’re amazing is not going to make them feel like they’re amazing. Just …

Kids Feel Thing Pressman Hafeez

5 months, 3 weeks ago

I Just Found Out I’m Going to Be a Dad. I Never Pictured Having to Raise Kids Like This.

Slate

This is part of Wedge Issues, a pop-up advice column about politics, running now through the election. Jerry Seinfeld has a bit in which he quotes Warren Beatty telling him: “One of the nice things God does is that he doesn’t let people who don’t have kids know what they’re missing.” Having experienced being a parent and not being a …

Parenting Kids World Trump Going Things Know

55 years, 2 months ago

Help! My Husband and I Got Into a Fight About Our Messy Home. Then He Said Something Unforgivable.

Slate

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. To be clear, I mean we’re not vacuuming and mopping daily anymore like I usually could when I stayed home, not that there’s actual filth anywhere. Dear Prudence, For my second marriage, 10 years ago, I married a single mom with a daughter I’ll call “Emily,” who is currently 22. It doesn’t sound like …

Family Kids Help Know Husband My Husband Her Daughter

6 months, 1 week ago

I’m a Stay-at-Home Mom. My Husband Hates That I Leave the House During the Day.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. —Not a Homebody Dear Not a Homebody, The “new ways” to approach this conversation are to tell him calmly that 1) if he expects you to stay at home with two 8-month-olds all day every day, he is sorely mistaken, 2) you will lose your mind if you’re not allowed to venture …

Parenting Kids Parents Care Stop Your Daughter Good

6 months, 1 week ago

How Do I Inspire My Stay at Home Wife to “Improve” Our Home?

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, My stay-at-home wife and I disagree about parenting and I want us to see eye to eye, but don’t know how to inspire her. I want to address your actual question—chores vs. no chores/whining—but first I want to comment on your “high standards.” The way you cast your …

Kids School Care Way Daughter My Daughter Dear Care

6 months, 2 weeks ago

My Husband Agreed to Think About Having Another Kid. Then He Finally Dropped a Bomb.

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. It’s a second marriage for both of us, and we each had one child previously, now 12 and 10. I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to accept that, but as I get older and the fertility window is closing, I still struggle with longing, disappointment with myself, resentment, …

Love Marriage Kids Child Mind Think Husband

55 years, 2 months ago

My Wife Insists on Controlling Every Parenting Decision. She’s Forcing Me to Be a Deadbeat Dad.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. You hit the nail on the head with these two sentences: “Apparently, we don’t agree on what is important and what is not, and I don’t know how to bridge that gap.” “I feel like she is unfairly putting me into the role of the stereotypical ‘out-of-touch dad.’” Putting myself in your …

Parenting School Care Feel Know Wife My Wife

6 months, 3 weeks ago

Family advice: My husband and I announced that I'm pregnant. My mother-in-law started acting odd.

Slate

Every week, Dear Prudence answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members. —Bewildered in Boston Dear Bewildered, If I had to guess, I’d say your mother-in-law loves her grandchildren very much and is worried that your new baby will mean they’re pushed aside—or even that she herself will be pushed aside if she’s not asked to be the …

Kids Work Baby Feel Husband My Husband My Mother

7 months, 1 week ago

My In-Laws Are Desperate to Babysit Our Kids. But I Have a Major Qualm.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Instead of letting them know that they have to at least learn a few basics about our kids if they want to watch them, my husband simply doesn’t consider them for childcare help. —Missing Dear Missing, I don’t think your children are entitled to this information about your reproductive health unless you …

Kids Games Care Share Think Know Our Children

55 years, 2 months ago

My Husband Is Home Most of the Time. But He Has a Bizarre Take on How We Should Divide Chores.

Slate

Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. My logic is that we both live here, we can’t afford those services on one middle-class income plus one part-time job, and I’m doing more than half of the work even though I spend as much time at work as ever. Since it is hard to find child care each summer, I was …

Job Kids Money Car Work Friends Pay

8 months, 2 weeks ago

My Husband Won’t Interact With Our Kids Without a Podcast Buffer. I’m Fed Up.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Some of the impulse to listen to something else while he’s caregiving may go away naturally when the kids get older. One thing I’ll say that I hope is encouraging is that people tend to think of “making dinner” as a finite and forbidding thing, but “making dinner” is actually just an …

Food Family Kids Care Listening Meal Thing

8 months, 3 weeks ago

I’m Tired of Hearing These Parenting “Tips” From Strangers on the Street

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. Often it’s a smile, a nod, a “Thank you” even though it’s never helpful feedback and it’s always invasive. You can also try “I appreciate your concern,” or “It’s something we’re working on.” If someone is particularly persistent or invasive, it’s OK to show a tiny bit of teeth. Politely …

Need My Son Emma Kid Strangers

9 months, 1 week ago

I thought I’d be happy to finish motherhood’s many chores. Then I choked up over laundry

LA Times

This column is the latest in a series on parenting children in the final years of high school, “Emptying the Nest.” Read the previous installment, a defense of helicopter parents, here. My youngest may still panic if her basketball uniform is not dry yet, but it’s been years since anyone burst into our bedroom at 11:30 p.m. to demand that …

Children School Child Youngest Laundry

1 year ago

Feeding young kids on a budget? Parents say the mental load is crushing

Salon

Feeding babies and toddlers can be challenging at the best of times. But when families can't afford enough food, let alone the recommended range of different colored vegetables, or iron-rich meats, it's tougher still. In our recently published research, parents told us how much effort they put in to feeding children when there is little money. One parent told us: …

Food Children Parents Money Told My Partner Feed

1 year, 2 months ago

Do you have an impatient or demanding kid? here's how to respond

Hindustan Times

Parenting can be tricky. here's how to respond Psychologist Jazmine McCoy explained this and shared a few tips for parents for handling demanding or impatient kids to understand them better. We should help them understand that we hear them and are doing our best to make them feel better. Establish a clear boundary: While we should make them feel better, …

Emotions Feel Better Understand

1 year, 3 months ago

My Mom Just Dropped a Bomb About What She “Expects” of Me in Our Family. I’m Shocked.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Over Thanksgiving, my mom said I should start coming to their doctors’ appointments so that I could understand my half-brother’s needs better and be “prepared.” I asked what she meant and she said, “Well, someday Chris and I aren’t going to be able to care for him on our own, so you …

Family Kids Care House Things Know Mom

1 year, 4 months ago

My Daughter’s New Dream for Her Future Is Extremely Concerning

Slate

Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding every week. It’s all described like life would be an amazing stream of gardening projects and baking bread if only women would give up independence and money and let men take care of them. But this feels like she’s drifting away from her own opportunities, especially because she talks increasingly seriously about …

Women Men Care

55 years, 2 months ago

My Fiancé’s Ex Is Using All Our Child Support Money to Fund Her Party Lifestyle

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I think what’s most important for you to emphasize is that you do not wish to continue living like this and that it may impact your willingness to stay in the relationship much longer. Your husband is correct in pointing out that the kids don’t have many years of childhood left, and …

Support Kids School Child Care Mother Help

55 years, 2 months ago

My Sons Are Definitely Going to Offend Our Thanksgiving Host, and I Don’t Know What to Do

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, I’m recently divorced, and I’m about to spend my first Thanksgiving my new boyfriend “Jon” and his family. I think it’s just such a habit now that he tells them every time he’s going to be home alone with the kids and at least one of them shows …

Family Kids Parents Gift Care Live Think

1 year, 4 months ago

I’m Mortified by My Husband’s Behavior in Parent-Teacher Conferences

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, Every year, our kids’ school offers two Parent-Teacher conference opportunities; one at the start of the year and one at the end. But if your husband can understand just how important it is for both of you to support your kids’ learning, then perhaps over the long term …

Family Parenting Relationship Kids Care Need Think

1 year, 5 months ago

My Husband Just Announced He’s Not “Fulfilled” by Being a Dad. His New Plan Is Infuriating.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. He doesn’t want to try additional sports lessons/clubs because they’re boring and “he can teach himself.” He also feels this way about art, music, basically anything. However, I’ve also encountered a ton of kids who despised every structured sport, but found other interests like music, theater, student government, etc. Dear Care and …

Kids Care Soccer Know His Friends Our Kids Husband

1 year, 5 months ago

My Kids Are Trust-Fund Babies. And They Have No Clue.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. They might feel so much resentment for their dad that they don’t want to mourn him, or they may worry that mourning will unlock feelings they’ve successfully compartmentalized for years. A few things I would keep in mind: The behaviors and emotions you are noticing in your kids may or may not …

Kids Money Therapy Work Care Feel Think

1 year, 5 months ago

I Went Out of Town for a Week. My Mother-in-Law Wreaked Havoc.

Slate

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. My mother-in-law turned to the kids: “You better learn to pour your own milk from this heavy carton because your mom doesn’t care about you.” When I found out about this, I nearly blew my top. Your wife might begin with the decision not to invite her parents to stay to “help …

Kids Parents Care Feel Way Son Mom

1 year, 5 months ago

11 Ways Parents Build Resentment In Their Kids Without Realizing It

Huff Post

skynesher via Getty Images If not addressed, resentment can cause deeper issues. Sometimes that is necessary because of their developmental age or emotional development, but more times than not, when you’re helping your child understand something, you’re also helping them understand how the real world works and the real world does not placate your child’s every whim and need.” Using …

Children Kids Parents Child Your Child Our Children Our Kids

1 year, 5 months ago

6 Habits For A Better Relationship With Your Adult Children

Huff Post

LOADING ERROR LOADING Being a parent to an adult child is certainly different from raising a toddler, a school-age kid or even a teenager. “If parents can embrace only offering advice when asked, and learn the skills to listen thoughtfully, their relationship will almost certainly strengthen.” Winifred Reilly, a marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, California, said it’s important to …

Parents Child Feel Your Child Huffpost Epstein Narang

1 year, 7 months ago

I'm a parenting coach - these two words will get your kids to listen to you and behave every time

Daily Mail

A parenting expert has revealed why 'threatening' your children with punishments can lead to unnecessary conflict and put a strain on your relationship. Gen Muir, from Sydney, is an Obstetric Social Worker and Parent Educator who has worked with more than 40,000 parents over her career. As a mum-of-four, Gen has a great understanding of the challenges modern parents face …

Child Your Child Gen

1 year, 8 months ago

Help! I Just Discovered My Husband’s Detailed List About How to “Handle” Me.

Slate

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. I have learned that my husband has been writing all those instances down as a list: “take kids out every day so she has alone time; don’t bring up kids conflicts to her; don’t compare her to you she may feel judged; don’t talk about her—even things that seem neutral are at risk of …

Kids Stress Care Help Husband My Husband Her Mother

1 year, 9 months ago

I Spent Years Unsure If I Wanted Kids. After One Devastating Incident, I’m Finally Making Peace With My Choice.

Huff Post

Photo Courtesy Of TIffany Dyba I recently watched a viral video of Chelsea Handler clapping back at conservative commentators Tucker Carlson and Jesse Kelly after they criticized her decision not to have children. Sure, she is wealthy and successful beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, but she still has to listen to the likes of Kelly comparing her womb to “a dried-up …

Children Women Baby Need Kelly Carlson My Body

1 year, 9 months ago

Help! My Husband Is Hellbent on Haranguing Everyone in Our Neighborhood to Change Their Yards.

Slate

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Dear Stop Talking, When it comes to coming out of your comfort zone and getting time away from your children and the home, all activities aren’t interchangeable. Dear Prudence Uncensored “She’s simply going to have to learn that she can’t control other people’s behavior.” Jenée Desmond-Harris and Joel Anderson discuss a letter in this …

Food Neighbors Help His Daughter Great Think Things

1 year, 10 months ago

As A Child-Free 46-Year-Old, There's One Invasive Question I Want Strangers To Stop Asking Me

Huff Post

The author and her husband camping in the RV with one of their dogs Photo Courtesy Of Callie Turner The wooden framed sign in my laundry room reads, “You, Me, and the Dogs.” I bought the framed art six years ago when I finally embraced that my life, rich with love and care for five dogs, two horses, my husband, …

Children Feel My Husband My Life

1 year, 11 months ago

The woman who secretly filmed her husband’s parenting should leave him

The Independent

The best of Voices delivered to your inbox every week - from controversial columns to expert analysis Sign up for our free weekly Voices newsletter for expert opinion and columns Sign up to our free weekly Voices newsletter SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “Every single day after I’ve gotten …

Women Men Work Her Husband Husband Complete

My Husband Demanded All Kinds of “Promises” Before We Had a Kid. Now He’s Refusing to Budge.

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