7 Things Children Of Narcissists Bring Up The Most In Therapy

LOADING ERROR LOADING The term “narcissist” has popped up a lot more often over the past few years thanks to social media awareness, leading many people to suspect that they might know a narcissist or two. “We all learn about intimacy from our experiences with our primary attachment figures and choose partners with the hope that they will help to heal our unresolved childhood trauma,” said Dr. Frank Anderson, a psychiatrist and author of “To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma and Transformation.” “Kids of narcissistic parents tend to pick partners who are controlling, highly reactive, and self-absorbed, because it’s what’s familiar to them,” Anderson continued. “They are usually passive in relationships because they learned to focus on their parent’s needs instead of their own.” Trouble Identifying Their Own Needs Heather Stevenson, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City, said children of narcissistic parents tend to learn how to minimize, dismiss or avoid their own needs, feelings and wants, instead sacrificing themselves to make their parents happy. They tend to be conflict avoidant, struggle to speak up as adults, and fear anger and rejection when someone is upset with them.” Feeling Unheard By Their Parents According to Michele Leno, a licensed psychologist and host of “Mind Matters with Dr. Michele,” many children of narcissistic parents bring up that they generally felt unheard by their caregivers and others in their lives. “When children of narcissistic parents enter the workforce, they often choose professions that involve caretaking others, such as health care workers, therapists, or teachers,” Anderson said.