Children’s Mental Health Week: Why won’t my child talk to me?

Sign up to our free Living Well email for advice on living a happier, healthier and longer life Live your life healthier and happier with our free weekly Living Well newsletter Live your life healthier and happier with our free weekly Living Well newsletter SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “It’s becoming increasingly common to hear parents saying their children are speaking less to them,” says Cecilia Corbetta, head of parenting at the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, which organises Children’s Mental Health Week. “And then there’s their personality – some children are quieter and feel less able to share their feelings.” Child and adolescent psychotherapist Jane Elfer, a member of the Association of Child Psychotherapists, stresses that parents wanting their child to talk to them is a really good start. Corbetta suggests ‘side-by-side conversations’ may help, explaining: “If your child struggles to open up, it might be helpful to set up situations where there’s no pressure to talk – sitting side-by-side in the car, or going for a walk, for instance.” In addition, she says it’s a good idea to spend time connecting in ways that your kids enjoy, explaining: “During times connecting with your child doing something fun, you may find your child will begin to communicate more about things they haven’t been able to share with you.” Adolescents Parents should try to recall their own potentially turbulent teenage years and understand that the huge physical and emotional developments can lead to less communication. Sometimes all you can do is provide the food and warmth they require.” She says parents should be available to hear their adolescent’s struggles and gently suggest what might help, without passing judgement, but stresses: “If your child just can’t put their feelings into words, you can’t make them talk of course.” She says if they shut themselves away, keep an eye on them and perhaps say something sympathetic.