How To Deal If A Parent Is Constantly Criticizing You

Tuan Tran via Getty Images “Many parents of adults simply want to feel useful. Clients tell him of friendly enough conversations that slowly veer into critiques: “You should have done this instead.” “That will never work.” “Are you sure you’re with the right person?” “I think you may be out of your depth here.” Why do some parents feel at liberty to weigh in on nearly every facet of their adult children’s lives? If the topic at hand is something you don’t mind delving into a little with your parent, talk them through why you made that particular judgment call: “I decided to take a pay cut at a new company in Seattle because that’s ultimately where my partner and I want to start a family.” That just may be enough to satisfy them, said Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali, a marriage and family therapist in Murrieta, California. Please feel free to give me a compliment on my new outfit ― or if you don’t like it, I’ll definitely take a compliment on my hair or sparkling personality.’” Ask for what you need ― moral support, recognition of a job well done, a compliment on your appearance ― and you might just get it, Bleich said. “As long as you make it your responsibility, you’re delaying living your own authentic life.” Remember that their view is just one opinion, one of many directions to take your life in.