Do you feel like a sullen teen again when you visit your parents for the holidays? You're not alone
SalonIt doesn't matter how old you are. "Many people assume that psychological growth naturally matches chronological growth, but unless a person works to individuate from a family of origin in healthy ways, returning to a childhood home can certainly trigger old dynamics — especially the unhealthy ones," Manly said. "Moreover, parents often unconsciously assume pre-existing authoritarian roles when their adult children return home; this can create difficult challenges for the adult child who wants to be seen and treated as an adult." "The parents often do not know the adult versions of their children as well as the child versions; they may also still see their adult children as 'kids,'" said Rebecca Tolbert, a therapist in Washington DC. "The adult children have set beliefs about what their childhood home and parents are like; both parties fall into what is 'typical' instead of addressing the situation and intentionally building something new."