I Went Seven Days Without Complaining (Almost)

This article originally appeared in Science of Us. “So I thought, if I can just stop being negative for a week and be more conscious of what I say, then maybe I will feel more positive, and maybe I can change the tone of the conversations I’m having so that there’s less negativity and we don’t feed off each other.” She said she slipped up a few times, but overall, the week was valuable because it made her reevaluate what was and was not actually worth complaining about. As much as we like complaining—and one 1996 paper suggests that Americans complain at least four times a day—we don’t much like listening to other’s complaints: Research published in the late 1970s found that couples listed “complaining” as No. There’s actually a way to become a “good complainer,” said Guy Winch, a clinical psychologist and author of The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships and Enhance Self-Esteem. Maybe realizing from the start why I’m complaining will help me stop at the first “that sucks” I get from the listener.